Archive for January, 2010

I’ll have a number 18 please

happy family ??

happy family ??

From the Brady Bunch and Partridge family, the Cleavers, Cunninghams and Crosbys. Are we a happy family? Are you a happy family? Is your neighbor a happy family? This Gill family photo from the side porch of Austin Street in Westfield. Aunt Carol is just a little baby, and she was the sole survivor in this Happy Family until she passed away now, almost two years ago already. My keen questions about the Happy Family to her were abruptly ended by her death.
Who Wrote Happy Family on this Photo?
Was it the Grandmother we never knew? May Gill. (it looks like a womens handwriting) Maybe it was Grandpa Fred, the Westfield police sargent and decorated hero? Naaaa. I did know him and what I knew of him was that he was a very moody, crabby man. Stern would not be the word to describe his harsh treatment of The Mighty Ten. He worked the Westfield police shift in a era of accepted police corruption, “benefits” extreme prejudice and “missing” evidence. His relationship with May was said by Carol to be very stormy. He was accused of several affairs even with a wife and three kids at home.
What Really Happened To Grandma?
She got sick. Died very suddenly at home. She was buried very quickly under Sargent Fred Gills orders without an autopsy. One week later he was with another woman and soon after that they were married.
The rumor spelled out is that he killed his wife and covered it up using his hero power to sweep it very quickly under the rug.
Rumor Number Two
Fred Gill and his daughter Carol were very close. Maybe too close and I will leave it at that.
When I talked to Carol about Austin Street and Gill family, she admitted her close ties with her dad but I never got a feeling of incest. Maybe because it was just too strange to even cross my mind.
Fred Gill was NOT laid to rest next to the mother of his only three children. Would you want to be buried next to the woman you murdered? This is why her son, our Uncle “Brother” Fred Gill is buried there.

I have to try Happy Family sometime

I have to try Happy Family sometime

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Slow down!

REBELING AGAINST PERFECTIONISM
If you are trying to be creative or just plain -Living Life- we need to fall away from the mindset that strives for perfection. Being creative means for me to be, well, sloppy. Coming here to this “family”BLOG has been hard because it is just that “family” part that has been keeping me away. Well, fuck that then. From now on I’m going to be sloppy, besides, It seems to be just me here most of the time. Our family is consumed in the woderful world of Facebook and rightly so. It has been an incrediable tool for keeping in touch, laughing, posting photos etc etc. It has been healthy for me here to lay it out. Some kind of psychological suicide leap and splat. I have to own it. It takes guts sometimes to say what you feel TO WRITE what you feel without the fear of being judges and it can be very empowering.

The DECADE in Review
The general consensus: It sucked. Terrorism, Michael Jackson, Global warming, Floods Fires. To me it is all how you look at it. Our measure of time is a joke. First of all it is only a measure of time and secondly who cares. The next ten years, the next “decade” will bring even more floods and stupid celebrities deaths.

Let’s make a big deal out of the king of pops death. That poor freak of nature. Look what money and being famous did to him. The real celebrity of the decade, the REAL HERO, the unsung and saddest death that I hurt me this past decade was the loss of Dana Reeve
This woman stood by her man and took care of him and their son through the deepest of tragedy. When her husband passed away, her sudden, unexplainable, very sad death hurt me like no other. She was a true super woman. God rest her soul.

2009
The year 2009 was perhaps the most interesting and fullfilling for me in my forty-nine years as a male caucasian on this planet earth. Getting laid off in New York City and losing my housing triggered a chain of events that I could not even begin to write down. At one point I had no money, no gas, nowhere to stay and almost no hope. I was “stuck” in the mountains and woods of upstate NY. I hadn’t seen my children in weeks. I was disconnected from society. The micro waves couldn’t reach my cell phone. But I just knew it was temporary . I had learned that no matter how deep I got lost, if I did the footwork, I would pull out of it. I think this thing is called FAITH !

See, this little guy! Great start to a new decade!

See, this little guy! Great start to a new decade!

What Do We Teach Our Kids About Family Love?
Tell them to slow down, if you can. Teach them by example. This society is spinning so fast, at least here on the east coast it seems. Grow your own food. Chop wood. Carry water. Have dinner with the whole family, as a matter of fact, cook dinner, wash and dry the dishes with the whole family.

Or Else?
Or else this society is doomed. If we lose sense of “family” we will lose everything.

The Retard Got Carols Money, Now What?
Well, there might have been a reason for it, if you ever slowed down to think about it. Have you ever really thought about what it’s like not to have a place to go to at night?

Ahhhh, Whitman street. I remember those days like it was yesterday…..almost….but I was called “Retard” “Retard” I guess because I acted like one. Truthfully, for most of my life my head has been spinning. Thoughts and creative processes go faster than I can comprehend them. A cross between ADHD and severe depression but the real diagnosis was Bi-poplar. Finally after 49 years, someone figured it out. My medication has given me a new lease on life. All I want is four walls and a roof. A place to hang my hat. A warm bed. A little space to gather with my boys. Is that asking too fucking much out of life????

Maybe the best way to slow down is to sleep a little more, and pay more attention when you are awake.

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