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My bathroom is the next fast food restaurant and the YMCA. I always liked the Y. It is pampering of my body. Endless hot water in the shower. 103 degree hot tub in front of a picture window of woods. Sometimes the Jersey deer wander over and through. The Westfield YMCA is filled with alot of retired successful men. They have interesting stories and recollections. But it seems to me that they always end up talking about MONEY.
For the most part, in the locker room we are all naked. You are not supposed to look at each others penis’ but sometimes you can’t help it. There are alot of mirrors and asses and penis’ all over the place.
Some guys are driving compact cars and some guys have Hummers. Once I was shaving naked in front of the mirror when Frank came over almost right next to me. Frank is a very tall and wide black man. He is very outspoken and sometimes annoyingly friendly. So Frank is naked too and he starts talking to me about investments and divorce. I don’t even remember how it all started but his PRESENCE was very strong. He kept looking at me in the mirror as he talked. I just had to check out his penis. So I snuck a look and was like wow, dude, I don’t feel so bad. We are both driving Cadillacs only his is black. I can listen to him finally but can give two shits about investments and divorce at this point in my life.
The worse thing that can happen when sleeping in a car is have a mosquito in there with you. Because I park next to woods, they are there waiting for me. I got raped last night.

In New York all the women that walk past reflective windows will 98% of the time watch themselves as they go by. When women meet each other they are VERY quick. You might have to see it in slow motion but in the quickest up and down look (ALWAYS shoes first) can figure out everything you are wearing, your hair, your nails and can make an honest assumption on whether you are multi-orgasmic or not. Women are the most clever animals on the planet earth. They are emotion and intuition driven. They are much more intelligent, sensible and honest.

Food that takes a long time to go bad:
Peanut Butter
Milk has alot of vitamins but is extremely perishable. Just buy small amounts.
I will tell you this: Greg beat me to it. I would have been living in Florida right now, in the middle of fucking nowhere and I would have started a farm and a big garden. Perhaps I would sit on the porch all day and say “Fuck Graphics” Ha ha ha. I would absolutely have a dog.
I would name her Eddy.


  1. Gary and Ann said,

    July 14, 2009 @ 3:19 pm

    Eddie???? Why Eddie???
    Florida is Awsome bro. We look forward to helping you with your garden when you do come to live.
    Sept we can plant Tomatoes again…..hopefully no frost this year…if so…I got a plan…hee hee.

  2. Ann said,

    July 15, 2009 @ 7:54 pm

    LOL how did we both (Gary!) end up here??
    There are 2 bedrooms….. no reason you cant still come except………. the boys. how would they like to winter in Florida? I can tell you they won’t much like the summers here, no one does.
    And if you don’t like Greg’s cats…. well we always have a spare room 🙂
    (except we have way more cats than he does!)

  3. Ann said,

    July 19, 2009 @ 6:46 pm

    “Women are the most clever animals on the planet earth”
    Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.
    (And it’s nice to have my husband hear it from someone other than myself) :=]

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