Posts Tagged ‘Marielle McDermott’

Excuse me, while I kiss the sky.

Monday, January 31st, 2011

Oh, James you said it so well. With your guitar licks and deep lyrics. Don’t be afraid of the dark anymore. One day I’ll be home. Wherever and whatever that is.
If I owned a home AGAIN-it would be a happy little brick house with happy landscaping and a big big big tree to protect me from harm. I could cut the grass and smell the flowers, grow vegetables – happy vegetables – and put up a fence to keep out bad people. Happy little bad people. Life would be good. I would have a garage with happy tools to make happy things. People would drive by and say, “Hey, look at that happy little brick house on the corner over there!! And the house would say, “You’re damn right!” Inside the happy house would be happy people and life would be happy. The end.

the smug brick house on the corner

Oh

Keeping Brother Glenn alive

Friday, July 10th, 2009

There once was a herd of ten sheep and they were all raised in the same pen.
They looked at each other and said, “Look at you, YOU are the BLACK sheep of the family.”
“No, I am NOT. Have you looked at yourself? YOU are indeed the black sheep of the family.”
In their minds they all thought that they were indeed, fluffy white on the outside. When they looked at their brothers and sisters, they saw negativity, difference and darkness.
ONE DAY a shiny chrome, newly washed, 18 wheel freight truck pulled up next to them to deliver their food. When they all looked at their reflection as one family, they realized that they were all the same color. They were all beautiful and they were even more beautiful when they saw how they looked together as ONE.
I got a text message from Ohio saying Glenn is in a nursing home.
From deep within your heart ask Jesus to be by his side.

Glenn we LOVE YOU

Glenn we LOVE YOU

Free WI-FI

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

My bathroom is the next fast food restaurant and the YMCA. I always liked the Y. It is pampering of my body. Endless hot water in the shower. 103 degree hot tub in front of a picture window of woods. Sometimes the Jersey deer wander over and through. The Westfield YMCA is filled with alot of retired successful men. They have interesting stories and recollections. But it seems to me that they always end up talking about MONEY.
For the most part, in the locker room we are all naked. You are not supposed to look at each others penis’ but sometimes you can’t help it. There are alot of mirrors and asses and penis’ all over the place.
Some guys are driving compact cars and some guys have Hummers. Once I was shaving naked in front of the mirror when Frank came over almost right next to me. Frank is a very tall and wide black man. He is very outspoken and sometimes annoyingly friendly. So Frank is naked too and he starts talking to me about investments and divorce. I don’t even remember how it all started but his PRESENCE was very strong. He kept looking at me in the mirror as he talked. I just had to check out his penis. So I snuck a look and was like wow, dude, I don’t feel so bad. We are both driving Cadillacs only his is black. I can listen to him finally but can give two shits about investments and divorce at this point in my life.
The worse thing that can happen when sleeping in a car is have a mosquito in there with you. Because I park next to woods, they are there waiting for me. I got raped last night.

In New York all the women that walk past reflective windows will 98% of the time watch themselves as they go by. When women meet each other they are VERY quick. You might have to see it in slow motion but in the quickest up and down look (ALWAYS shoes first) can figure out everything you are wearing, your hair, your nails and can make an honest assumption on whether you are multi-orgasmic or not. Women are the most clever animals on the planet earth. They are emotion and intuition driven. They are much more intelligent, sensible and honest.

Food that takes a long time to go bad:
Peanut Butter
Pizza.
Milk has alot of vitamins but is extremely perishable. Just buy small amounts.
I will tell you this: Greg beat me to it. I would have been living in Florida right now, in the middle of fucking nowhere and I would have started a farm and a big garden. Perhaps I would sit on the porch all day and say “Fuck Graphics” Ha ha ha. I would absolutely have a dog.
I would name her Eddy.

Breakfast at Tommies

Monday, July 6th, 2009

In Westfield with dad. That handsome guy that wore the white apron, kinda quiet. Never asked what dad wanted, just gave him the same thing everyday, at the same green marbled table. The smell of that place was breakfast. Toast, butter and muffins. His little shiny toaster in front of the window. Deer heads on the wall. Old newspaper headlines from the 50’s hanging framed.
Sleeping in the car: Almost three weeks now. The first week was really frustrating because the police kept kicking me out of public parking lots. The first night it poured out of nowhere and I left my overhead window open a crack and there was a streak of soaking wet running across my quilt. I usually get about five or six hours and I always wake up very suddenly…like “AAAAhhhhhh!” and I never go back to sleep. The sun comes up so early these days.
I haven’t watched tv in three weeks and I don’t miss it at all. At night radio waves carry better and I explore the AM radio. I fell asleep to a talk show from Toronto the other night.
I stayed at my friend Bobs house a couple nights but it feels rather awkward.
It has felt awkward since I gave my home to my kids eight years ago. I miss companionship. The divorce left me incapable of a relationship for several years. I have been listening to “Blood on the Tracks” over and over again. Almost like I was on my bunk bed in 1975 again. I opened up an old wound and found myself crying and angry and heartbroken again.
I used to have a therapist that fell asleep on me EVERY damn time I went to see him. I used to make up crazy shit just to see if the Shock could keep him awake.
Once I had sex with a Japanese girl but I was horny again an hour later. Her pubic hair was very fine like silk and I thought it would be good material to make a nice
vest
or tie.
I have been watching the June Solstice moon with a woman the last few days. Last night under a gorgeous Cranford Summer sky night we looked up at it together. It was almost full.
When we hugged, I felt like I was home again, or someplace where I might not get kicked out. It was warm and comfy and the smell of her perfume and hair made me crazy.
I will never give up my home again, or my fireplace, gardens or deck…..where I used to watch the stars with a telescope.
Breakfast at Tommies is like a good woman. You feel like you are always home and it smells like home. Being in a room that is filled with history and compassion and orange juice and hot coffee.
Right now in this bookstore cafe I have the perfect view of a young childs eyes as her mother reads her a story. It is so beautiful and amazing. I am so glad I read to my children almost every night when we were together. They still remember that.
I hope they do it with their children and I hope that they take them to a place like
Tommies for Breakfast.