Archive for the ‘Tall Tales’ Category

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

a birth of a new day

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

5:50 am Spring Lake NJ

5:50 am Spring Lake NJ


My boys have spent the last week at a friends house down the “Shore”, pool, beach and water park. So I went to pick them up and instead of fighting traffic Saturday morning, I zoomed into the darkness and slept on the beach in Spring Lake. The “Irish Rivera”, my old home for three years.
I will not exaggerate to say that sleeping on the beach behind the turned over lifeguard chair was a “spiritual experience” last night. Looking up into the crystal clear blackness was a million stars. The waves were high and rough. Off into the north east from many miles away, I could see the incrediable flashing and rumbling of a far away thunderstorm. I woke up from many dreams in my snuggy warm sleepingbag. A little alone. A little scared, but what I really couldn’t believe how FREEZING cold it was. The whole mechanics of HOW a good sleeping bag really works just amazed me. My own body heat was keeping me from being a big chicken and running back to the car.
I SURVIVED the icy night. I watched the sun come up in slow motion. A new day, like a new baby, coming out of the water, oblong at first, almost distorted, was just so amazing to me how the sky changed so many red hues.
Then the “morning people” came. Dog walkers, surfers, ocean khakis, and fishermen. I talked with some that came over to me, still nestled in my “camp”.
People do care. I felt that way when I read some of the comments when I came home from the beach. I miss everyone. I am so proud of Bonnie. I wanna hug Paul. Kiss Grant and Greg. Dance for Bernadette and Barb and go boating on a strange lake somewhere in south Florida.

Posted in Dreams, New Jersey, Tall Tales, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Why I love dogs….

Friday, July 24th, 2009

This is Bernadette, Larry and families Yorkie, Bell. He is very cute but has absolutely nothing to do with this post.

This is Bernadette, Larry and families Yorkie, Bell. He is very cute but has absolutely nothing to do with this post.

If your house was on fire and you were asleep on the couch with your cat and dog on the floor. Who would save your life?
On Family Ties Website I have my most embarrassing moment listed as: “I could write a book.” But this story of TWO dogs is really my most embarrassing moment(s)
I used to pick up a blind guy named Bernie (changed the name to protect his annominity) and take him to AA meetings with me. He was around my age back then, which was 40. He lost his sight at age 17 to diabetes. Because he remembers so well, what it was like to see, he was a very bitter man. Sometimes I had a really tough time dealing with Bernie.
He had a big beautiful seeing-eye dog. A pure German Shepherd named Rascal (changed the name to protect his annominity). After many months of traveling with Bernie and Rascal I realized that maybe Bernie was gay. I decided that he was MOST defiantly gay when he told me one evening after a meeting that he loved me.
“Consider that a great compliment George.” he said
“Ummmm yeah. Uh why?”
“Because I have no idea what you look like (I never let him feel my face yet). I love you because I have been listening to you for the past three months in this car and at meetings”
“Oh, gee. Thanks Bernie but I’m not gay.”
“I know”

ONE VERY RAINY night I picked up Bernie and in a complete downpour was rushing to get Bernie and Rascal in my car. Bernie always sat up front and Rascal took up the whole back seat.
In my haste, I slammed the door prematurely before Rascal was completely in the back seat. I slammed the door on his tail.
Never have I heard such a horrible yelp and never have I ever felt so bad.
Bernie was beside himself with anger for what I had done.
So, all the way to the meeting in the pouring rain, I had to listen to Bernies harsh angry words and “Oh, poor Rascal buddy, it’s going to be ok.”
Because Rascal was still in pain and crying in the back seat.
JUST THEN as I was filled with great guilt and distraction—on the road in front of me—-ANOTHER DOG, a loose dog had wandered onto the street and I HIT HIS HEAD!
THUMP
Like an uppercut. I walloped the poor dog good. I didn’t kill him because he ran away.
“What the hell was that?” screamed Bernie
“Did you see that? Did you see that? Oh my God, did you see that?”
“No, I didn’t see that. I’m fucking blind!”
“I hit a dog! Holy crap, I hit a dog right in the jaw!”
“What do you have against dogs all of sudden you Bastard!!!!”

This was the last time I ever gave Bernie and Rascal a ride. Even though I still saw him at meetings, I don’t think he was in love with me anymore.

Tags: ,
Posted in Tall Tales | 3 Comments »

1969

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

Was a hot Summer. A long Summer. I remember being in Dads Westfield Sewing Center when one of his teenage girl workers begged him to go home early so that she could get ready to leave for Woodstock.
I remember the whole hype and build-up on Tv and the newspapers to finally watch man land on the moon. I became so obsessed with that, collecting the photos (Life magazine was always the best) and buying the model of the Apollo 11. I spent endless hours putting it together, the glue and paint my first very young “high” (damn that stuff was strong back then)
I remember Glenn climbing the black railing on our front porch and falling. He broke his arm right in front of me. I thought that was strange because I didn’t hear anything “snap”
And the Mets, ahhhh, my first season as a fan. The magical Mets captivated me and Jim McSherry. We went up to his fathers room to watch every night game on WOR channel 9. Their miraculous climb to first place. When they made it to the World Series, the nuns stopped class and rolled in a TV so that we could watch a day game.
When you are living an era in your life, it can take many years later to look back on it and realize how special it was. All you can remember is the romance, the innocence, the smiles, and the music. I mean sometimes I just hear an old song and I am back there! Transported to that time, surrounded by all those old people in your life, and it is very powerful.
Who would know, 40 years later….the Summer of 1969; after Woodstock,
Man on the Moon, Miracle Mets, Dads Fabric store,
Student Jan Palach sets himself on fire in Prague’s Wenceslas Square to protest the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia, Vietnam War: U.S. President Richard Nixon declares the Nixon Doctrine, stating that the United States now expects its Asian allies to take care of their own military defense. This starts the “Vietnamization” of the war.
The Manson Family kills Leno and Rosemary LaBianca, wealthy Los Angeles businesspeople.
The Brady Bunch premieres on ABC and Monty Python soon follows in the BBC and the first Sesame Street a few months after that. Wal-Mart incorporates as Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. The Altamont Free Concert is held at the Altamont Speedway in northern California. Hosted by the Rolling Stones, it is an attempt at a “Woodstock West” and is best known for the uproar of violence that occurred. It is viewed by many as the “end of the sixties.”

Tags: ,
Posted in seasons, Tall Tales, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Life cycle of a print job

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

I like hamburgers. Cheesburgers. Sometimes I am disappointed in what I get, compared to the graphic on the menu. Don’t be afraid of me. Go ahead, leave a comment. I should be afraid of you. I realize how dangerous you are, I realize that maybe you were meant to come off that plane, find my blue shirt and kiss me on the cheek.
The Hungry Moon
To understand the complexities of the three phases of the moon, the spiritual secrets hidden in moon myths, and the moon goddesses is impossible.
A. Crescent Moon
B. Full Moon
C. dark Moon

The full moon is the high tide of psychic energies.
The wanning moon or dark moon is for causing things to decrease or banishing something entirely from your life. I am wanning you very much right now.

People tell me it’s a sin
To know and feel too much within.
I still believe she was my twin, but I lost the ring.
She was born in spring, but I was born too late
Blame it on a simple twist of fate.
(Dylan-Blood on the Tracks)

The Blue Moon (in October) is also called “Moon of the Dead”
The Summer Solstice has been and is still important to many religious cultures around the world.
Not only was it sacred to goddesses of fertility, marriage and love but it was considered to be a time when many supernatural beings were abroad in great numbers.
The June Moon has enormous energies for calling upon and working with elementals of all types. Tides of psychic energy flow freely enabling even the most meek spirits to experience unusual happenings.
Cerridwen of Wales was a Dark Moon Goddess, her symbols were the cauldron, grain and the moon.

Something came back to me and triggered a deep feeling inside. When Lowri and I were talking she said she went to Kingston Ontario for a meeting or something. She told me that she met a woman named Marielle with two tall children. At the time, I thought nothing of it. Things come back to me and haunt me and I need to figure them out. Like one time when I was working at Applied Image on rt 34 in Wall, someone called the office and asked if George Hartman worked there. About an hour later I was outside on a beautiful Summer day when two clowns in a small car came zooming around the parking lot with big goofy grins on their faces. I remember looking at the driver eye to eye for a moment. They continued driving around the parking lot and I went back into my office.
The secretary that I was out there with said that they drove up to her and asked “Was that George Hartman out here with you?”
At this time of my life, with all the insanity that was going on, with a very unhealthy codependant relationship ending and just emptiness, loss, broken heart, anger, jealousy, deep sadness, loneliness, I remember at this time of my life I was working two jobs and sleeping in my car before I found that cool place in Spring Lake. Although I had my intuitions, I finally know who it was.
Nobody knew how good I was at hacking. I had access (on and off) to several hotmails. Life is such strange journey. I am glad have hundreds of notes, a thousand saved emails and I always did want to write a book.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Tall Tales, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Free WI-FI

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

My bathroom is the next fast food restaurant and the YMCA. I always liked the Y. It is pampering of my body. Endless hot water in the shower. 103 degree hot tub in front of a picture window of woods. Sometimes the Jersey deer wander over and through. The Westfield YMCA is filled with alot of retired successful men. They have interesting stories and recollections. But it seems to me that they always end up talking about MONEY.
For the most part, in the locker room we are all naked. You are not supposed to look at each others penis’ but sometimes you can’t help it. There are alot of mirrors and asses and penis’ all over the place.
Some guys are driving compact cars and some guys have Hummers. Once I was shaving naked in front of the mirror when Frank came over almost right next to me. Frank is a very tall and wide black man. He is very outspoken and sometimes annoyingly friendly. So Frank is naked too and he starts talking to me about investments and divorce. I don’t even remember how it all started but his PRESENCE was very strong. He kept looking at me in the mirror as he talked. I just had to check out his penis. So I snuck a look and was like wow, dude, I don’t feel so bad. We are both driving Cadillacs only his is black. I can listen to him finally but can give two shits about investments and divorce at this point in my life.
The worse thing that can happen when sleeping in a car is have a mosquito in there with you. Because I park next to woods, they are there waiting for me. I got raped last night.

In New York all the women that walk past reflective windows will 98% of the time watch themselves as they go by. When women meet each other they are VERY quick. You might have to see it in slow motion but in the quickest up and down look (ALWAYS shoes first) can figure out everything you are wearing, your hair, your nails and can make an honest assumption on whether you are multi-orgasmic or not. Women are the most clever animals on the planet earth. They are emotion and intuition driven. They are much more intelligent, sensible and honest.

Food that takes a long time to go bad:
Peanut Butter
Pizza.
Milk has alot of vitamins but is extremely perishable. Just buy small amounts.
I will tell you this: Greg beat me to it. I would have been living in Florida right now, in the middle of fucking nowhere and I would have started a farm and a big garden. Perhaps I would sit on the porch all day and say “Fuck Graphics” Ha ha ha. I would absolutely have a dog.
I would name her Eddy.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Tall Tales, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

One day last month….Entry for February 10, 2009

Friday, May 15th, 2009

If once upon a time you were lucky enough in your life for this moment. To hold your newly born child in your arms. It is a moment that changes most people forever. You take a huge step away from self-centeredness that last for the rest of your life. For the first time in your life something-someone is much more important than your own welfare. It is an amazing journey parenthood. Sometimes unbearably nerve wracking most times a thrilling euphoria.

In the middle of January 2009, I took my boys to the ocean. The boardwalk is a magical place in the Winter The empty beaches and forgotten rides and stands. Only a few indoor arcades remain open. I have been doing this with them since they were very young. We have always looked forward to the quiet of Winter here. The crashing waves. The ice blue water where only a few months ago we were riding waves.

We walked down to the beach but it was too cold.On the horizon a lonely barge stood still. The seagulls are never on vacation.

The blaring heat of the arcade called us. It seems that now they have no interest in the stuffed animals. I am at the verge of losing them. Their childhood innosense echoing like the waves outside. Bundled up joggers and walkers go past the glass doors. I miss the sand in-between my toes, the taste of salt in my mouth, the burn of the hot sun on my shoulders
And my boys
Looking up to me (not down)
For another handful of quarters.

DO YOU REMEMBER these damn things flying over our home on Whitman street over and over again??? Nothing like buying a home in the middle of a flight pattern to Newark Airport.

They flew so low, you can sometimes here the landing gear being lowered. Allot of times the house shook ! The sound haunted me for years. When I finally moved out of our hometown, I had trouble sleeping. I realized that it was the sound of the “waves” of Jets going past the house that made me restless. I missed them.

I don’t anymore.

Tags: ,
Posted in Tall Tales, Uncategorized | Comments Off

Stability in the NFL and horses……Entry for October 24, 2008

Friday, May 15th, 2009

Horses should consume approximately half a bale (20 lbs) of hay daily, though this number can be increased or decreased depending on your horse’s size and access to grazing pastures throughout the day.

The NFL has become the NPL — the National Panic League. Head coaches are fired at the first sign of trouble: three have already been fired this season. Owners fire head coaches almost for sport, Snyder of Washington being on his sixth in 10 years. Assistant coaches are such vagabonds they should always keep their bags packed; many teams change at least one coordinator each season. Bad game? Let’s change quarterbacks. Finished in the middle of the pack last season? Let’s have an all-new offensive system. Bad punt? Get a new punter. One of the hidden laws of football is: Don’t Panic, There Will Be Plenty of Time for That Later.
If a coach has stability, he will make better decisions. If you have stability in your own life, you too, will make better decisions.

Tags: , ,
Posted in News, Tall Tales, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

One of our finest hours….Entry for October 24, 2008

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

<

It was a stellar job with a tight deadline. Starting at the United Nations and traveling globally with our name on it. a new photographic exhibit at the United Nations headquarters to raise awareness about global conservation. The images on display depict wildlife and landscapes from the forests of Madagascar to the coasts of Patagonia.

Opening night was more then I expected, the news coverage, politicians, tuxes and hors d’oeuvres. I had never been to the United Nations and most people I went with were there as a classt rip when they were kids. I was impressed with all the security, the architecture and the enviromentle graphics through-out. Hopefully rubbing elbows with all the pretty people will open up some new sales paths.
One of the most stunning parts of the exhibit is the “Human Footprint” shows our impact on every square kilometer of the Earth. Forest logging, road-building in remote areas, and other factors of human activity account for our influence over 83 percent of the planet.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in News, Tall Tales, Uncategorized | Comments Off

Gallus gallus……Entry for October 20, 2008

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

Chickens grow much more rapidly than they once did and some consumers have concluded that this rapid growth is due to the use of hormones in these animals. Some consumers believe that the increasingly earlier onset of puberty in humans is the result of the liberal use of such hormones. However, hormone use in poultry production is illegal in the United States.

I had a friend from Puerto Rico who told me that you haven’t had a chicken meal unless it was prepared that day and didn’t come from a mass-produced chicken farm.
Chicken eggs vary in color due to the hen.
Chickens are generally low-maintenance. The major challenge is protecting the birds from predators such as dogs, raccoons and foxes.
Before 1960 in the USA, most chickens and eggs were produced on home farms. Today it is an industry. Like building cars.

Tags:
Posted in Tall Tales, Uncategorized | No Comments »

The People in Front of me today……Entry for October 16, 2008

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

My morning coffee is the most important of the day. I am a dragon without it. I am waiting for the guy in front of me to “fix” his coffee. Where I go, there is only room for one person. All I put in my coffee is half and half. I don’t even stir it. I figure it stirs itself by the time I get to the car or walk out the door,
The man in front of me is taking too long.
Mix. Stir. Taste. Oh, a little more sugar. Mix. Stir. Mix. Taste.
The man in front of me has decided that his coffee is a fucking science project.
Oh, a tad more milk.
Mix. Stir. Taste.
I am going to kill this caffein scientist very fucking soon.
Then, at the counter, he is there again. Talking. And talking. I know everything he did in the past two days. The store owner seems not to give a shit. Neither do I. Talking, talking talking. Shut the fuck up.
Now the lady is next. She has decided to pay with change. Quarters, dimes but mostly pennies. She wants to talk too. Her dog is very sick. He has something wrong with his stomach and they might have to operate. She is still paying and counting change. I hope my dog doesn’t die, she says. I hope he drops dead while she is counting pennies.
LATER that night. I am in line waiting for my bus to come home.
The woman in front of me has a very large ass. No, I mean it is big. REALLY fucking big. I have never seen anything like it. It is so round, almost like a mountain cliff….or a planet maybe. I am imagining myself very small and climbing that planet. It is very difficult and I hope I don’t fall off. Holy cow this is a big fucking ass.
Now the lady, sitting in the chair across from the bus line has seen me staring at this woman’s ass. Shit. That sucks. But fuck you lady. I’m not staring at it sexually. I am wondering how she washes it when she takes a shower.
NOW I am on the bus. The man in front of me is Jamaican. He is on the cell phone. He is telling his whole day to the person on the other end of the phone. He speaks very loud. I like his accent. But I hate his laugh. He laughs like Ernie from Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street. He laughs alot.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Tall Tales, Uncategorized | Comments Off

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »