Thanks for sharing

I’ve spent a lot of time in twelve step meetings the past thirty years and some of what I was “taught” has stuck. One of the things was, that, as long as you are drinking, drugging or acting out consistently and compulsively, you fail to grow emotionally. So in theory, if I began my journey to self destruction at age 15, and continued until I was 28, then I had the emotional development of a 15 yo at age 28. Ridiculous isn’t it? I always thought so until I encountered someone close to me with an insatiable thirst for the “poor me’s” Hey, I’d like to feel sorry for you if I could but maybe it’s time to move along. I’ve also learned my tolerance level in dealing with adult’s that have a child’s emotional growth level. ZERO.
So this is my bad. I pray for patience and enlightenment to help get along with every human being that crosses my path. Even my social media circle of robot friends and family.

I’ve also been learning about passive-aggressive behavior. This targets me generally. Why is it that the darkest side of human nature includes wanting bad things to happen to other people? Whether they deserve it or not, who am I to judge? Who am I to hate? This whole monster of human nature in trying to “out-do” our friends and family brings NOTHING but disgrace. No, it’s not easy for me to say. In everyone’s life tears were shed, harsh words were spoken, fear, dread, resentment, jealousy, frustration and rage comes and goes like clouds in the sky.

To be quite honest I stopped going to meetings. It was easy when you had no solid foot on the ground. When there was no real place to hang your hat. Or, that that place kept changing. It is only through the blessings of a good God that I found some real peace in my life. It is only through the generosity, love and kindness of Krysia that I can bury myself in blankets on a cold north east night and dream. It is through these warm

I am zeroing in on capturing John Karst.

I am zeroing in on capturing John Karst.

hazy dreams that I can wake up in a home. In a home you can begin to take care of yourself. Go to a doctor (even if an overnight visit to the emergency room initiated it.) I can rejoin the ymca. I can begin learning and doing transcendental meditation. Joining the quite bizarre (but Catholic church related) Knights of Columbus. I can actually do things for myself that are healthy. Through it all, whenever I encounter a tough situation or a man-child, I find that I always bounce back on the life lessons I have learned in AA. As repetitious as those meetings can be, maybe it’s time to go back. I have absolutely no desire to go back to drinking and drugging yet something pulls me there. The friendship? The horrible coffee? The human tragedy? The repetitious steps and slogans? The service? Helping others? Maybe all of the above or can I even slide it into my scheduling, I don’t know.
Today I will dress in dark cloths and attend the viewing of a 16 year old girl that lost a gallant fight against some rare-crazy-aggressive cancer. I hardly knew this wonderful girl but it was so easy to join in with the entire community and help her. Something I witnessed which I shall never forget as long as I live (and live on in the afterlife) is hearing a young smart girl announce “We should start a fundraiser” and then see it develop, grow and snowball down the side of a mountain like a runaway train. Because of this selfless act I saw that people will bond together for another human. People are not greedy. People sincerely care. If you fall down there is a hand, EVEN many willing hands to help you get back up. My faith tells me the afterlife is real and that it’s not just some dark, void waiting room in the mountains of the universe. I have an advanced case of poets brain. I struggle with heaven and hell but I am overwhelmed with compassion for humanity. I’m redesigning myself at all times. I’m trying to think of others, even that fool that hung up on me. “Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink.”

The reason why they repeat so much in AA is because most alcoholics are so DAMN thick-headed, (and this IS and WAS me!) that it is only after something is heard several million times that it begins to sink into a train wreck of a chaotic alcoholic brain. Next step in the city of steps? Tearing off the leaches. Stay tuned!!

About George C. Hartman

Redesiging design, coloring outside the lines, rolling down hills, figuring out strange people, dreaming in black and white, photographing in black and white, juggling, body surfing, fantasy football, painting, design, digital art and photo manipulation, green oceans, blue oceans, museums, discovering small towns, biking, beach, relationships that tear my heart out, bad poetry, movie making and BLOGGING
This entry was posted in Gratitude and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

1,611 Responses to Thanks for sharing

  1. Amia says:

    I’d like to cancel a cheque extenze plus amazon Horton was appointed CEO when the company filed bankruptcy, but lost the support of his labor force, with each of AMR’s three major unions pledging support for the merger and the appointment of US Airways CEO Doug Parker as chief of the restructured carrier.

  2. Rodger says:

    Excellent work, Nice Design hydroxyzine pamoate 100 mg cap That is critical, given that boosting credit growth, which touched a 13-year low in September, is a key plank in Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s plan to revive investment

  3. Craig says:

    Another year ketoconazole cream for fungal infection “Those whose hearts are fixed on America – either they don’t know America or they don’t know politics,” said Massoud Jazayeri, deputy chief of the Iranian armed forces, according to the Fars news agency.

  4. Claude says:

    I’d like some euros grifulvin pet “I just don’t see any game-changing, bet-the-bank M&A,” oneLondon-based lawyer said

  5. Kyle says:

    I don’t know what I want to do after university atenolol kidney failure Ron Russo said he moved his mother, who weighed 58 pounds, to his bedroom to keep her warm because the crash had opened up the wall of the house

  6. Keneth says:

    We’re at university together how much does effexor xr cost – Talk about the end of retirement. Gold notes that he oftensees couples disagree about how to handle their estates – onewants to die spending the last penny, the other wants to leave abequest. He tells people their priority should be to ensure acomfortable retirement and then earmark dollars to pass on. Ifthey can’t agree on the line between “comfortable” and “save forthe kids,” he sometimes tells them to buy a second-to-die lifeinsurance policy that will pay off to the estate when the secondspouse passes. That won’t come cheap, but if it saves you from amarital spat, it could be as worthwhile as the cleaning servicethat kept the household peace during your working years.

  7. Johnie says:

    We’ve got a joint account curves gym malaysia Court records released Friday did not reveal what’s in the envelope. The records state it relates to a debate over whether a Fox News reporter should be forced to identify confidential sources who told her what the notebook contains.

  8. Alfred says:

    Sorry, I ran out of credit kegunaan obat diclofenac potassium In cross-examination of Flemmi, Brennan suggested Flemmi killed Debra Davis for reasons that went beyond the fact that she knew Flemmi and Bulger had a relationship with corrupt FBI agent John Connolly.

  9. Armando says:

    Could you send me an application form? is mometasone furoate cream used for acne Before a vaccine was introduced to prevent measles, the United States had up to four million cased per year, the CDC says

  10. Randal says:

    Do you know what extension he’s on? aspire 360 accounting The market for small cars is one of fastest-growing in the U.S. Automakers have made the cars quieter and more refined as people who want good gas mileage turn to compacts and subcompacts. So far this year, Americans have bought more than 1.8 million new small cars, up 12 percent over a year ago, according to Autodata Corp.

  11. Wilbert says:

    We’re at university together cialis amazon espaa “Wall Street is still mostly at all-time highs as marketssit tight and await clues,” Tracey Warren, stockbroking salesexecutive at CMC Markets said in a note. “The U.S. monthly jobsreport due at the end of the week is also keeping investors onedge.”

  12. Tony says:

    Could I ask who’s calling? emla cream nz directions The trouble with pandas is the females will often undergo a pseudo pregnancy after their fertility window. This makes it notoriously difficult to tell whether Tian Tian is really pregnant or not.

  13. Rocky says:

    What do you do? tricorn hat rdr2 Rodriguez, who went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts and left four men on base, received a mixture of boos and cheers when he was introduced before his first home game this season following hip surgery and a since-appealed 211-game suspension stemming from the Biogenesis/PED scandal.

  14. Foster says:

    Looking for a job valtrex presciption houston According to Al Jazeera, the report finds the government’s intention in conducting the inquiry was likely aimed at “regime continuance, when the regime is desperate to distance itself from any responsibility for the national disaster that occurred on its watch.” It says that the inquiry was likely “a reluctant response to an overwhelming public and parliamentary demand.”

  15. Ferdinand says:

    Where’s the postbox? alternating ibuprofen and tylenol for fever baby * Investor fears that the end of easy money is at hand arericocheting around the globe. In the latest fallout, theInternational Monetary Fund on Tuesday trimmed its global-growthforecast, reducing its projections for emerging markets such asChina and Russia. ()

  16. Jerome says:

    Do you like it here? iqos 2.4 plus bluetooth function Wednesday Smithfield CEO Larry Pope defended the deal to members of the Senate Agriculture Committee. He said it would not compromise American food safety or security and also promised the planned purchase would not result in any U.S. imports of food from China.

  17. Johnson says:

    I’m sorry, he’s betamethasone valerate ointment “Saying that you will freeze 10 billion reais in spending isnot even worth the announcement. It’s too timid,” said AlbertoRamos, head of Latin America economic research for GoldmanSachs. “The government is trying to instill more credibility onits fiscal stance, but it continues to be insufficient.”

  18. Roosevelt says:

    I was made redundant two months ago zanaflex generic price It took more than 18 years to bring two of Stephen's killers to justice. An inquiry following the murder led the Metropolitan Police to be accused of institutional racism and found failings in how the force had investigated the crime.

  19. Eusebio says:

    I sing in a choir feldene piroxicam 20 mg uses While tactical differences exist in the GOP on dealing with the Obamacare strategy, Republicans should have united with Cruz because at the end they all stand for the same goal: repeal and replace Obamacare. His arguments are the same as those Republicans who decided not support him.

  20. Elizabeth says:

    Very Good Site arava 10 mg price Mr Assange said he plans to keep politicians honest, complaining about “the stealth with which our elected representatives have worked together (often across party lines) to pass laws without proper public consultation”.

  21. Delmer says:

    This is the job description difference between claritin d 12 and claritin d 24 “A lot of times, women have had all their tools taken away (in Hollywood comedies). It’s like you’re never inappropriate, you have the greatest job, you look great, your hair is amazing, and now go be funny. And it’s like, with what?” McCarthy, 43, said.

  22. Nicole says:

    Until August precio champix The agreement leaves flexibility for the spy services to share the content of the communication and not simply the information around it. The agreement says that “communication documents” can be shared, that could be interpreted to mean content, says Mr Hosein.

  23. Fernando says:

    Your cash is being counted desyrel dosage for insomnia Britain’s longest heat wave in 18 years provided a boost tobusiness at the retailer, whose first-quarter sales had beenaffected by a period of unseasonably cool weather that deterredshoppers from outdoor projects. Kingfisher said today thatfirst-half earnings should meet its expectations.

  24. Jonas says:

    How much is a Second Class stamp? veltam s tablet composition Venture capitalists and free market advocates have voicedstrong support for online currencies such as Bitcoin, sayingthey are alternatives to conventional monetary systems that canburden the poorest people in the world with transaction fees.

  25. Harrison says:

    perfect design thanks lamictal nedir ne iin kullanlr The numbers don’t add up for the Giants to win this game. They are minus nine in turnovers. The Chiefs haven’t turned the ball over once and are plus nine. The Giants are averaging a meager 44.3 yards rushing per game, last in the league by more than eight yards. Manning has thrown a league-high eight interceptions.

  26. Amia says:

    I’ll text you later prime male testosterone booster for sale Now the arms aid offered may amount to “too little, too late.” While the administration engaged in wishful thinking about brokering an illusory political settlement, Russia and Iran showered the Assad regime with unstinting arms supplies and economic aid. Iran also deployed Revolutionary Guards as advisers and ordered thousands of Hezbollah militiamen from Lebanon to join the fighting.

  27. Jonas says:

    Other amount lisinopril overdose in dogs While the government would lose money on thesugar-for-ethanol program, it would be less expensive than theforfeiture of hundreds of millions of dollars of loans issuedby the Agriculture Department to prop up domestic sugar prices.

  28. Randall says:

    We were at school together cilostazol pletal price philippines For the first time in the organisation’s 106-year history, those who do not have a religious faith be able to take an alternative version of its distinctive oath of allegiance without having to go against their beliefs.

  29. Vincenzo says:

    I love this site precio de yasmin pastillas anticonceptivas Brotherhood supporters have been camped out in a Cairo square since June 28, guarded by men with sticks behind barricades and sandbags. They fear a repeat of the July 8 killing of more than 50 Mursi supporters when security forces opened fire outside a Cairo barracks.

  30. Graham says:

    Who’s calling? esomeprazole drug interactions diazepam He explained that although a cure for Alzheimer’s was not about to happen any time soon, he was extremely thrilled about what they had found. This was the very first evidence in any living creature that neurodegeneration can be delayed in the brain. The world will not change overnight, but this study is a landmark case.

  31. Cameron says:

    Have you got any experience? apm network diagram The operators also said investigators have been illegally interviewing students and telling parents to pull their children from the program by Friday or face abuse charges. Their lawsuit said at least one family was contacted directly by Gov. Susana Martinez, a claim her office denies.

  32. Sergio says:

    I study here caduet etken maddesi For pilots, obviously, there isn’t much choice. We spend hours in what is essentially a small room walled with glass. Cockpit windows are surprisingly large, and although there’s often little to see except fuzzy gray cirrus or pitch – blackness, the panorama they provide is occasionally spectacular.

  33. Shaun says:

    It’s OK copegus ribavirin 200 mg price
    The announcement, welcomed by nationalists, came just hours after Police Service of Northern Ireland chief constable Matt Baggott announced he was drafting in an additional 630 additional police officers to help police the annual Twelfth of July demonstrations. Photographer: Dara Mac Dónaill/The Irish Times

  34. Devon says:

    I didn’t go to university micronized dhea pharmaceutical grade uk Yu repeated that ties with the Dalai Lama could only improve if he openly recognized that Tibet has been a part of China since ancient times and abandoned his Tibetan independence activities, Xinhua reported.

  35. Eusebio says:

    Looking for work arimidex without prescription The farm system hasn’t provided a star player since Cano and was criticized when it couldn’t provide high-level replacements when the Yankees were overwhelmed with injuries this season. The Yankees may be facing a period in which there are few major league-ready players in their system at a time when they are trying to cut the payroll below the $189-million mark to get under baseball’s luxury-tax threshold.

  36. Elvin says:

    Not available at the moment naturopathica fatblaster 2 day coconut detox 750ml Pro users will be able to search keywords within articles, and get one-click Evernote saves and priority access to Feedly’s customer-support line. The company promises more features down the line, and says users will have a hand in deciding what those will be.

  37. Keith says:

    How much is a First Class stamp? gnc staminol ultra side effects These proxy-property investments are not perfect. They pose institutional risk and their terms are inflexible. There is also downside if the index falls, albeit limited. But they do offer protection from house price inflation and, also hugely useful, they allow the buying decision to be deferred, perhaps to a later period when risks clarify or other factors – marriage, children – tip the balance.

  38. Bruno says:

    What university do you go to? over the counter medicine like flomax Markets have been speculating that Apple is on the verge of signing a distribution pact with China Mobile Ltd, the country’s biggest wireless carrier with more than 740 million subscribers. China Mobile shares fell just under 1 percent in Hong Kong and about 3 percent in New York.

  39. Elroy says:

    Whereabouts are you from? diltiazem 220 er 220mg Other companies have launched smart glasses and various other forms of wearable technology

  40. Andreas says:

    Could you tell me the dialing code for ? where to buy pepcid complete online A giant panda gave birth at Washington’s National Zoo on Friday, causing a buzz among fans as they flocked to a panda cam’s live feed to hear the cub squeal and watch the mother immediately start caring for it.

  41. Jarrod says:

    I stay at home and look after the children diclofenac con paracetamol precio This is how it should work in a democracy: publicly debating whether or not to go to war and then holding a vote before the executive branch acts. Even though the Obama administration – mindful of the lessons of the Iraq War – is planning to release evidence regarding Assad’s use of chemical weapons, it is under no obligation to, and could easily have gone ahead with strikes today. That the administration can pull the country into a conflict with barely any public debate and no approval from the legislative branch should worry everybody.

  42. Laurence says:

    I’m in my first year at university aceclofenac paracetamol & thiocolchicoside tablets in hindi “The White House has mishandled this terribly,” Dallas Federal Reserve Bank President Richard Fisher told the Independent Bankers Association of Texas. “It just makes it sound like we are a political instrument. We are not, we cannot be, we should not be, we must never be a political instrument.”

  43. Philip says:

    Where do you come from? tofranil nombre comercial y generico “We are officially in (the race) and there is a chance thatsome investment funds may present a rival bid,” Giuseppe Lavazzasaid on the sidelines of an event in Paris

  44. Bobber says:

    I enjoy travelling delgrano Economists and staffing companies are cautiously optimistic that part-time hiring and the low wages environment will fade away as the economy regains momentum, starting in the second half of this year and through 2014.

  45. Renaldo says:

    International directory enquiries pomada bactroban preo pacheco “Most schools are happy to advise ex-pupils throughout the Autumn Term,” she continued. “Getting some sort of work experience will prove valuable anyway once you graduate so it won’t be a wasted year.”

  46. Tommy says:

    I’d like to pay this in, please does bactrim treat streptococcus “The mortgage horse has been a big, strong horse. We’ve got89 other horses that are going to be able to grow,” ChiefExecutive John Stumpf told analysts on a conference call,referring to the stagecoach that has long been the symbol forWells Fargo.

  47. Cristopher says:

    I’m originally from Dublin but now live in Edinburgh british dragon winstrol The rise in stock trading revenue offset most of the decline in fixed-income, currency, and commodity trading, where revenue fell 44 percent. Morgan Stanley has had difficulty with fixed-income trading for years, but in the third quarter weak market conditions also shook most of the bank’s competitors.

  48. Emilio says:

    Could I have , please? fumarato de bisoprolol 2 5mg preo Meanwhile, however, GE says a new sodium nickel chloride battery system integrated into its own Tehachapi turbines is cheaper than grid-scale batteries at wind farms because it requires less investment in certain hardware.

  49. Norris says:

    A law firm methotrexate medication side effects But Yoshi Oida’s staging (first seen at Aldeburgh in 2007 and rehearsed here by Rob Kearley) is a marvel throughout. More stylized and less representational than Deborah Warner’s equally fine version revived by ENO last summer, it bears visual marks of Oida’s background in Japanese theatre and the “less is more’ aesthetic of Peter Brook.

  50. Kurtis says:

    I love this site quetiapine price uk The first thing to note is our manufacturing is a mess, our exports are a mess. Yes, China has had a long history of manufacturing growth, and our manufacturing’s share in GDP has not been as high as it should have been. It hovers around 17 percent.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *