Thanks for sharing

I’ve spent a lot of time in twelve step meetings the past thirty years and some of what I was “taught” has stuck. One of the things was, that, as long as you are drinking, drugging or acting out consistently and compulsively, you fail to grow emotionally. So in theory, if I began my journey to self destruction at age 15, and continued until I was 28, then I had the emotional development of a 15 yo at age 28. Ridiculous isn’t it? I always thought so until I encountered someone close to me with an insatiable thirst for the “poor me’s” Hey, I’d like to feel sorry for you if I could but maybe it’s time to move along. I’ve also learned my tolerance level in dealing with adult’s that have a child’s emotional growth level. ZERO.
So this is my bad. I pray for patience and enlightenment to help get along with every human being that crosses my path. Even my social media circle of robot friends and family.

I’ve also been learning about passive-aggressive behavior. This targets me generally. Why is it that the darkest side of human nature includes wanting bad things to happen to other people? Whether they deserve it or not, who am I to judge? Who am I to hate? This whole monster of human nature in trying to “out-do” our friends and family brings NOTHING but disgrace. No, it’s not easy for me to say. In everyone’s life tears were shed, harsh words were spoken, fear, dread, resentment, jealousy, frustration and rage comes and goes like clouds in the sky.

To be quite honest I stopped going to meetings. It was easy when you had no solid foot on the ground. When there was no real place to hang your hat. Or, that that place kept changing. It is only through the blessings of a good God that I found some real peace in my life. It is only through the generosity, love and kindness of Krysia that I can bury myself in blankets on a cold north east night and dream. It is through these warm

I am zeroing in on capturing John Karst.

I am zeroing in on capturing John Karst.

hazy dreams that I can wake up in a home. In a home you can begin to take care of yourself. Go to a doctor (even if an overnight visit to the emergency room initiated it.) I can rejoin the ymca. I can begin learning and doing transcendental meditation. Joining the quite bizarre (but Catholic church related) Knights of Columbus. I can actually do things for myself that are healthy. Through it all, whenever I encounter a tough situation or a man-child, I find that I always bounce back on the life lessons I have learned in AA. As repetitious as those meetings can be, maybe it’s time to go back. I have absolutely no desire to go back to drinking and drugging yet something pulls me there. The friendship? The horrible coffee? The human tragedy? The repetitious steps and slogans? The service? Helping others? Maybe all of the above or can I even slide it into my scheduling, I don’t know.
Today I will dress in dark cloths and attend the viewing of a 16 year old girl that lost a gallant fight against some rare-crazy-aggressive cancer. I hardly knew this wonderful girl but it was so easy to join in with the entire community and help her. Something I witnessed which I shall never forget as long as I live (and live on in the afterlife) is hearing a young smart girl announce “We should start a fundraiser” and then see it develop, grow and snowball down the side of a mountain like a runaway train. Because of this selfless act I saw that people will bond together for another human. People are not greedy. People sincerely care. If you fall down there is a hand, EVEN many willing hands to help you get back up. My faith tells me the afterlife is real and that it’s not just some dark, void waiting room in the mountains of the universe. I have an advanced case of poets brain. I struggle with heaven and hell but I am overwhelmed with compassion for humanity. I’m redesigning myself at all times. I’m trying to think of others, even that fool that hung up on me. “Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink.”

The reason why they repeat so much in AA is because most alcoholics are so DAMN thick-headed, (and this IS and WAS me!) that it is only after something is heard several million times that it begins to sink into a train wreck of a chaotic alcoholic brain. Next step in the city of steps? Tearing off the leaches. Stay tuned!!

About George C. Hartman

Redesiging design, coloring outside the lines, rolling down hills, figuring out strange people, dreaming in black and white, photographing in black and white, juggling, body surfing, fantasy football, painting, design, digital art and photo manipulation, green oceans, blue oceans, museums, discovering small towns, biking, beach, relationships that tear my heart out, bad poetry, movie making and BLOGGING
This entry was posted in Gratitude and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

1,611 Responses to Thanks for sharing

  1. Elton says:

    How much is a Second Class stamp? precose 50mg In his statement, Bales accused the union of “cyberbullying, threats ” verbal and physical intimidation, staged pedestrian accidents and mysteriously flattened tires” directed at workers replacing the crew that walked off the production March 3.

  2. Carlton says:

    Until August buy vegan protein powder nz
    Strong production growth at an oil company can offset higher operating costs, “but when production is flat or declining it’s a big hit,” says Brian Youngberg, an analyst at Edward Jones. “Even though oil prices are $100 or higher, the returns on investment aren’t what they used to be.”

  3. Ambrose says:

    Withdraw cash schmerzmittel diclofenac rezeptfrei Units in Fonterra’s Shareholders Fund, which offer outsideinvestors exposure to the cooperative’s farmer shareholderdividends, plunged as much as 8.7 percent before trading 5.9percent lower at NZ$6.70.

  4. Antwan says:

    good material thanks glaxosmithkline wellbutrin xl coupons Born in Bradford began in 2007 and aims to look at every aspect of a child's development to try to get an idea of how factors like environment, education, diet, ethnicity and genes interact together to affect health.

  5. Jaden says:

    this is be cool 8) 24 hour delivery viagra Mikulski announced Monday that language to create a Commission on the Selection, Retention and Quality of Service Academy Superintendents has been included in the fiscal year 2014 Department of Defense Appropriations bill.

  6. Maynard says:

    Children with disabilities himalaya ashwagandha reviews Among the company’s lobbyists in Tallahassee is Jonathan Costello, who served as legislative affairs director for Republican Florida Gov. Rick Scott in 2011 and 2012. Gary Rutledge, another YSI lobbyist, served on Scott’s inaugural committee after his 2010 victory.

  7. Kirby says:

    Three years obat amlodipine untuk jantung Schaeuble wrote in his letter to Michel Barnier,Commissioner for Internal Market and Services, that the proposalfor the Commission to make the final decision on whether to winddown banks was out of step with European Union law.

  8. Romeo says:

    Could you tell me the dialing code for ? wellbutrin and alcohol overdose The solar panel maker said on Thursday it would offer 3.8million American depositary shares (ADS) priced at $16.25 eachto expand its manufacturing capacity, develop solar projects andfund working capital.

  9. Frank says:

    What company are you calling from? lopressor xl dosage Seeing a young child completely engrossed by a mobile phone is becoming an increasingly common sight. Online price comparison outfit, uSwitch, claim that on average in the UK, youngsters are getting their first handset aged eleven. For many parents, there is a security in knowing their children can contact them in an emergency.

  10. Booker says:

    I’m interested in venlafaxine uk cost He told euronews: “There is everything, like the culture of Morocco, it is varied. So there’s everything in the music, there’s the Orient, the West, folklore, jazz, African music, there is everything, because you have to go further, there’s the horizon, there’s the light over there, we have to go together.”

  11. Liam says:

    I was made redundant two months ago mix benadryl nyquil clonidine They stuck within a stride of one another through the finish, with Keitany pulling away only in the final meters.

  12. Sandy says:

    I’m in a band zocor sales 2011 “They sit in judgment of Alex Rodriguez yet turn a blind eye to people who prey on young players in the Dominican Republic and Venezuela, and other places,” Mateo said then. “They claim reforms have been implemented but it’s just a claim, a press release, spin. Too many kids are still being steered down the wrong path while Major League Baseball ignores the reality on the ground.”

  13. Lesley says:

    Have you read any good books lately? can prozac help u lose weight Li’s Hutchison Whampao Ltd has put Hong Kong’sdominant supermarket business up for sale, asking for $3-4billion. The operator of China’s second-largest supermarketchain has said it is interested in ParkNShop and discussedselling non-core units to fund future acquisitions withoutmentioning specific assets.

  14. Jenna says:

    There’s a three month trial period indikasi paracetamol 500 mg Polls suggest Britons would vote to leave the EU by a narrow margin if a referendum were held now. Critics say the bloc has become too powerful since Britain joined in 1973 and now threatens their sovereignty.

  15. Jefferson says:

    An accountancy practice how to buy proscar in usa That is the order of a federal judge, who on Wednesday said he wants the appointment of an independent monitor and a community advisory board to ensure that Maricopa County, Ariz. Sheriff Joe Arpaio is complying with constitutional requirements after finding his office engages in racial profiling.

  16. Jarrod says:

    Do you play any instruments? lasix 10 mg uses in hindi JPMorgan is hoping to ease some of the pressure that regulators have been putting on the bank for months. The bank sidestepped the worst losses in the financial crisis, but it has looked less smart since May 2012, when it said it was losing money on derivatives bets that became known as the “London Whale” trades.

  17. Jordon says:

    What’s the current interest rate for personal loans? beachwaver pro 1.25 curling iron Brian Stevens, a national representative for the Canadian Auto Workers Union which represents a portion of ONR workers, supported the railway’s safety standards. And Stevens said he doesn’t see circumstances similar to those that led to the Lac-Megantic disaster repeating themselves at the ONR.

  18. Eugene says:

    Do you have any exams coming up? fungsi clindamycin 300 “We were knowingly conservative, with the recognition that if changes needed to be made, it’s probably better to be able to make those changes going forward in a direction that would be positive for the consumer, versus the other way around,” he said.

  19. Zoey says:

    Looking for work antabuse online order
    I had one of these health checks at my GP’s surgery about a month ago and was diagnosed after further blood tests, with Type 2 Diebetes. So glad I went as undetected it could have led to further health problems. I didn’t recognize the symptons, just thought the various sypmtons I did have were part of getting older!!

  20. Douglass says:

    Withdraw cash isotretinoin drug information East Fork Battalion Chief Ron Haskins said paramedics have delivered babies in odd places, but it’s the first birth on a restaurant restroom floor that he can recall during his 30 years with the district.

  21. Elias says:

    Are you a student? propranolol generic brands The waiting game has proven a boon for bookmakers offering odds on the date of the birth and for public relations companies pulling royal-related stunts to pique the interest of journalists in need of stories during the summer lull.

  22. Johnathon says:

    Best Site good looking iqos 3 duo kaufen amazon So you don’t feel you have to drink the Pixar Kool-Aid to fit in? “Not at all,” says Phil Shoebottom. “Everyone here is good at their job, so you just fall into step. You just have to love your work.

  23. Salvador says:

    Directory enquiries diclofenac potassium powder uses He told the BBC that he knew of other programmers using bots to snap up tables at many restaurants in and around the Valley and added that there were also websites, such as Hacker Table, that let anyone automate the process of grabbing a table.

  24. Cordell says:

    Please wait köpa nolvadex online The former broker, Michael Farah, became entangled in astring of arbitration cases filed by customers against Wedbushin the mid-2000s, stemming from mortgage-backed securities theyhad bought through him.

  25. Geoffrey says:

    Where do you study? what is the medication losartan potassium used for After insisting the main flaw in the city’s new 911 emergency call system was with the people who dispatched responders, City Hall’s top man on the project admitted that there had been technical glitches.

  26. Kieth says:

    perfect design thanks tylenol for infants dosage Communication with the department since October 1 has been far less frequent, she said, due to the partial government shutdown that furloughed her organization’s grant officer, and consolidated other groups around the state under another.

  27. Jarod says:

    Do you know each other? mobcraft shark tank episode
    O’Rielly said he would commit to maintaining a program thatgives discounts to schools and libraries for Internet access. Healso committed to enforcing rules on decency in broadcasttelevision and said he was open to exploring changing some rulesgoverning media ownership.

  28. Eldridge says:

    Go travelling vimax detox ingredients Bacall’s will, signed last fall, also remembered two of her employees — Ilsa Hernandez was left $15,000 and Maria Santos was given $20,000, according to papers filed Friday in Manhattan Surrogate’s Court.

  29. Demarcus says:

    Could you ask him to call me? nolvadex name in pakistan “Since the end of the revolution, Islamists groups influenced by al-Qaeda have developed.” said Ousama Buera, a founding member of the Barqa Youth Movement, a pro-independence group in eastern Libya. “We don’t want them to turn Libya into a terrorist state, so that is why the operation has been well accepted even if it was led by American special forces.”

  30. Miles says:

    Good crew it’s cool 🙂 odactra uk
    HELSINKI, July 18 (Reuters) – Weak quarterly sales of Nokiasmartphones raised the heat on CEO Stephen Elop, whose decisionto adopt Microsoft’s untested Windows Phone softwarehas yet to deliver the recovery in the company’s fortunes he washired to achieve.

  31. Alexis says:

    Good crew it’s cool 🙂 i took motrin before i knew i was pregnant Instead, they have appointed a new, interim government, devoid of any Islamists parties. Sworn into office just four days ago, it is tasked with tackling the economy and preparing the way for swift elections.

  32. Jeremiah says:

    How do you know each other? para que sirve el ciprofloxacino bioflox But U.S. Treasuries yields, although down from Monday, werestill at two-year highs, encouraging investors to dump riskierassets like stocks to buy U.S. government debt. The yield on thebenchmark 10-year note dipped to as low as 2.80percent on Tuesday from 2.88 percent in the prior session.

  33. Lyman says:

    When can you start? careprost canada legit Out of the 11 diet plans, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig came on the top of the list, with long-term effects considerably better than the comparisons.

  34. Arturo says:

    Through friends muscletech cell tech vs hyper build Supporters of ousted President Mohammed Morsi, from the Muslim Brotherhood, have maintained the sit-ins for over a month despite threats by authorities that they will be dispersed by security forces. Protesters said they would not leave and demanded Morsi’s reinstatement.

  35. Augustine says:

    How do you spell that? risperdal consta im dosing The crackdown on Islamists has been met with an escalation in violence in Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula as militants, long active in the area, have intensified their attacks against security forces since the ouster of Morsi.

  36. Sean says:

    Hello good day lariam tablets online “They must be feeling some pressure on this issue if they’vefelt compelled to issue a public statement,” said Saule OmarovaAssociate Professor of Law at the University of North Carolinaat Chapel Hill School of Law, who will appear at the hearing.

  37. Ervin says:

    I’m on holiday trend micro deep security as a service Mayor Eric Garcetti later called for members of the public to exercise restraint and to avoid letting “passions” sparked by the case “ignite this city.” Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck said officers would take a “much stricter posture”.

  38. Steve says:

    Have you got any ? echobelly dark therapy “Man, the kid was playing great today. We played the Masters together last year and he’s a great kid, and I think it’s terrible that he got penalized,” Wagner said. “Hopefully he’ll go out tomorrow and rip it up and put himself in contention again, but I think it’s terrible.”

  39. Dario says:

    I’ve got a part-time job prospecto ciprofloxacino * Creditors are set to provide $5.9 billion in financing toTokyo Electric Power Co (Tepco), a person involved inthe talks told Reuters on Monday, offering a lifeline to theembattled owner of the crippled Fukushima nuclear plant.

  40. Luigi says:

    Your cash is being counted advair serevent diskus Syriza’s leader, Alexis Tsipras, has long argued he wants to renegotiate and write off part of the country’s massive debt, claiming the austerity programme imposed by the country’s lenders has made it impossible for Greece ever to repay it.

  41. Leland says:

    A First Class stamp manfaat pasak bumi bagi wanita EBay, which does not own inventory and mostly avoids runningwarehouses, is partnering with retailers to create a network ofexisting physical stores that will, in effect, operate as ministorage and distribution hubs for online purchases.

  42. Brant says:

    Yes, I love it! nutrex muscle infusion black review
    Huguette (pronounced “oo-GET”) Marcelle Clark was the youngest daughter of former U.S. Sen. William Andrews Clark (1839-1925), one of the copper kings of Montana and one of the richest men of the Gilded Age, a railroad builder and founder of Las Vegas. Born in Paris in 1906, Huguette was a shy painter and doll collector who spent her last 20 years living in simple hospital rooms. She attracted the attention of NBC News in 2009 because her fabulous homes in Connecticut, California and New York sat unoccupied but carefully maintained.

  43. Brooke says:

    Could I make an appointment to see ? clindamycin mip 600 zamiennik bez recepty What’s more, the stock market — as measured by the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index — fell 17 percent and was far more volatile in the time surrounding the debt limit debate. In large part as a result, household wealth declined $2.4 trillion. Retirement assets, in particular, declined $800 billion.

  44. Leslie says:

    In tens, please (ten pound notes) abilify withdrawal restless leg syndrome Inbee Park, who first grabbed a golf club 15 years ago when she was 10, is primed to etch her name into the chronicles of this charming village where ancient ruins continue to battle harsh elements blowing in off the North Sea.

  45. Trinidad says:

    Could I have an application form? buy cymbalta As a result, he says, “it tends to be females that complain of cold hands and feet”. While a woman's core body temperature may be the same as a man's, her skin is likely to feel cooler.

  46. Santiago says:

    What do you do for a living? doxycycline hyclate tablets 100 mg A Carnegie-based search of nearby galaxies for their oldest stars has uncovered two stars in the Sculptor dwarf galaxy that were born shortly after the galaxy formed, approximately 13 billion years ago

  47. Vaughn says:

    How much were you paid in your last job? how long does clotrimazole cream take to work * The Agriculture Department issued a public health alertthis week, saying that a strain of salmonella may have sickened278 people who reported becoming ill after they ate poultryproduced by Foster Farms. ()

  48. Vanessa says:

    We’ve got a joint account atacand pris “The only thing keeping the government shut down…is that Speaker John Boehner won’t let the bill get a yes or no vote because he doesn’t want to anger the extremists in his party,” Obama said. “That’s all. That’s what this whole thing is about.”

  49. Rachel says:

    What’s the current interest rate for personal loans? tylenol ibuprofen dosage chart Yes, you guessed it. The invasion of Iraq has topped out at a final expected cost of $ 3,000,000,000,000. (Three Trillion dollars)but that war is now winding down as the US leaves Iraq in the condition of a completely failed State where death and constant violence is the order of the day.

  50. James says:

    I’d like to cancel a cheque cyrux misoprostol para que sirve Lady Gaga celebrated Barack Obama’s victory on Election Night by hitting up Twitter. “We just couldn’t be happier my goodness, the joy when freedom prevails” she tweeted to her 31 million followers, posting a photo of herself enjoying the evening with friends.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *