Thanks for sharing

I’ve spent a lot of time in twelve step meetings the past thirty years and some of what I was “taught” has stuck. One of the things was, that, as long as you are drinking, drugging or acting out consistently and compulsively, you fail to grow emotionally. So in theory, if I began my journey to self destruction at age 15, and continued until I was 28, then I had the emotional development of a 15 yo at age 28. Ridiculous isn’t it? I always thought so until I encountered someone close to me with an insatiable thirst for the “poor me’s” Hey, I’d like to feel sorry for you if I could but maybe it’s time to move along. I’ve also learned my tolerance level in dealing with adult’s that have a child’s emotional growth level. ZERO.
So this is my bad. I pray for patience and enlightenment to help get along with every human being that crosses my path. Even my social media circle of robot friends and family.

I’ve also been learning about passive-aggressive behavior. This targets me generally. Why is it that the darkest side of human nature includes wanting bad things to happen to other people? Whether they deserve it or not, who am I to judge? Who am I to hate? This whole monster of human nature in trying to “out-do” our friends and family brings NOTHING but disgrace. No, it’s not easy for me to say. In everyone’s life tears were shed, harsh words were spoken, fear, dread, resentment, jealousy, frustration and rage comes and goes like clouds in the sky.

To be quite honest I stopped going to meetings. It was easy when you had no solid foot on the ground. When there was no real place to hang your hat. Or, that that place kept changing. It is only through the blessings of a good God that I found some real peace in my life. It is only through the generosity, love and kindness of Krysia that I can bury myself in blankets on a cold north east night and dream. It is through these warm

I am zeroing in on capturing John Karst.

I am zeroing in on capturing John Karst.

hazy dreams that I can wake up in a home. In a home you can begin to take care of yourself. Go to a doctor (even if an overnight visit to the emergency room initiated it.) I can rejoin the ymca. I can begin learning and doing transcendental meditation. Joining the quite bizarre (but Catholic church related) Knights of Columbus. I can actually do things for myself that are healthy. Through it all, whenever I encounter a tough situation or a man-child, I find that I always bounce back on the life lessons I have learned in AA. As repetitious as those meetings can be, maybe it’s time to go back. I have absolutely no desire to go back to drinking and drugging yet something pulls me there. The friendship? The horrible coffee? The human tragedy? The repetitious steps and slogans? The service? Helping others? Maybe all of the above or can I even slide it into my scheduling, I don’t know.
Today I will dress in dark cloths and attend the viewing of a 16 year old girl that lost a gallant fight against some rare-crazy-aggressive cancer. I hardly knew this wonderful girl but it was so easy to join in with the entire community and help her. Something I witnessed which I shall never forget as long as I live (and live on in the afterlife) is hearing a young smart girl announce “We should start a fundraiser” and then see it develop, grow and snowball down the side of a mountain like a runaway train. Because of this selfless act I saw that people will bond together for another human. People are not greedy. People sincerely care. If you fall down there is a hand, EVEN many willing hands to help you get back up. My faith tells me the afterlife is real and that it’s not just some dark, void waiting room in the mountains of the universe. I have an advanced case of poets brain. I struggle with heaven and hell but I am overwhelmed with compassion for humanity. I’m redesigning myself at all times. I’m trying to think of others, even that fool that hung up on me. “Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink.”

The reason why they repeat so much in AA is because most alcoholics are so DAMN thick-headed, (and this IS and WAS me!) that it is only after something is heard several million times that it begins to sink into a train wreck of a chaotic alcoholic brain. Next step in the city of steps? Tearing off the leaches. Stay tuned!!

About George C. Hartman

Redesiging design, coloring outside the lines, rolling down hills, figuring out strange people, dreaming in black and white, photographing in black and white, juggling, body surfing, fantasy football, painting, design, digital art and photo manipulation, green oceans, blue oceans, museums, discovering small towns, biking, beach, relationships that tear my heart out, bad poetry, movie making and BLOGGING
This entry was posted in Gratitude and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

1,611 Responses to Thanks for sharing

  1. German says:

    How do you know each other? sumatriptan injection instructions video As you know, Facebook and other mobile technology leaders recently launched Internet.org, formalizing Facebook’s commitment to improving access to the internet for the next 5 billion people — this is a challenge we’re also passionate about.

  2. Earnest says:

    Yes, I love it! finasteride 5 mg vademecum Taiwan also claims the islands, but Taipei and Tokyo strucka fishing agreement in April covering the waters around theislands that has eased tensions. (Editing by Christopher Wilson and Mohammad Zargham)

  3. Delbert says:

    How much will it cost to send this letter to ? novartis voltaren sr 75 yan etkileri The competence of the performances is not in question. The orchestra played bouncily under Barlow’s light-touch conducting; Francis Matthews’ staging is perfectly pleasant and untouched by gimmickry, with an attractive set by Lez Brotherston which cleverly suggests that both operas are taking place in the same tenement block.

  4. Gonzalo says:

    Directory enquiries maxolon According to a survey Sullivan conducted for his book, those of us who make our voices heard have a decent chance of getting the desired results: Complaints to credit card companies and airlines had a success rate of more than 60 percent. (If you’re calling to complain to your cable provider, however, you may want to first hone your debating skills: Only 20 percent of consumers got the response they were looking for.)

  5. Jewel says:

    Where do you come from? nexium product monograph “When we try to understand the past and present heliosphere, we can no longer assume that the heliosphere changes only because of the solar wind,” Frisch said. “Now we have evidence that changes in the interstellar wind may be important.”

  6. Jarred says:

    I’d like to take the job derma promedics DUBAI, Sept 29 (Reuters) – Bahrain-based Arcapita is aimingto build a new asset management firm with a debut local deal inthe logistics, education or healthcare sector as the companyrecovers from the first Chapter 11 bankruptcy process undertakenby a Gulf Arab entity.

  7. Stephen says:

    I’d like to cancel a cheque rogaine canada online BRUSSELS/MADRID, July 23 (Reuters) – Dutch telecoms groupKPN will sell its German unit to Telefonica Deutschland for some 8.1 billion euros ($11 billion) in cash andshares, in a long-awaited deal that will test regulators’ viewsin Europe’s largest mobile market.

  8. Elvis says:

    Is this a temporary or permanent position? dianabol biogen The employment ratio, at 71.6%, is also the same as it was in that month. That is higher than it has been for most of the past 4 years, but still some way off the 73% recorded at the start of 2008. We have a record number in work, but that is not unrelated to the fact that our population is also at a 'record high'.

  9. Kaitlyn says:

    How do I get an outside line? tofranil cost goodrx Rachel Moulton is a hoot as an eccentric New Yorker who finds endless drama in a scrap of damask. And Kathryn Kates lends a touch of gravity as a former leading lady of the stage who’s no stranger to hard realities.

  10. Melanie says:

    I’d like to send this letter by imitrex patient information leaflet The hosital said: “The Mater Hospital has carefully considered the Act. The Hospital’s priority is to be at the frontier of compassion, concern and clinical care for all our patients. Having regard to that duty, the Hospital will comply with the law as provided for in the act.”

  11. Douglass says:

    I’m on work experience “gu energy” A Cexim senior executive told Reuters that around two-thirdsof the shipyards that won orders this year were supported with amix of financial instruments that benefited individual shipyardsor ship owners.

  12. Leonardo says:

    Could I order a new chequebook, please? yohimbine 2.5mg “Clearly, if our national security is at threat we expect the Government to make decisions rapidly on our behalf,” she told BBC Radio 4’s World at One. “But that isn’t the case here, this is a complex ethical issue with grave risks of further escalation and I think in that context it’s absolutely right for Parliament to debate this issue.”

  13. Alphonse says:

    Some First Class stamps how long will a viagra pill last Ackman has made a $1 billion short bet against Herbalife, and has been a vocal critic of the company since he disclosed his short position last December. He labels the maker of nutritional supplements as a pyramid scheme.

  14. Garrett says:

    Which team do you support? vad kostar viagra med recept During a lengthy, rambling statement, Bergrin told U.S. District Judge Dennis Cavanaugh in Newark federal court that the government’s allegations against him, including his conviction for plotting the execution of informant Kemo DeShawn McCray, were false.

  15. Conrad says:

    Have you read any good books lately? volmax rde facebook But the site’s designers could have made the language less jargon-heavy. If Obamacare is designed for people who presumably aren’t familiar with health care enrollment, how about an explanation of key insurance terms like premiums and deductibles?

  16. Moshe says:

    Excellent work, Nice Design prolazyme review
    BEIJING/HONG KONG – China reiterated its opposition on Thursday to a European Union plan to limit airline carbon dioxide emissions and called for talks to resolve the issue a day after its major airlines refused to pay any carbon costs under the new law.

  17. Kaitlyn says:

    I’d like to tell you about a change of address lupin birth control norgestimate and ethinyl estradiol reviews “Overall the trend did seem to support that it is effective,” Dr. Neera Goyal, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the Children’s Hospital Cincinnati Medical Center and the study’s lead author, told Reuters Health.

  18. Manual says:

    How many would you like? platinum light teeth kit reviews More words were exchanged, and even as the situation appeared to defuse, Geike was stabbed to death in violence police initially said may have been racially motivated. But by Monday, authorities said it appeared that verbal sparring of a more general nature had preceded the stabbing.

  19. Ollie says:

    Insufficient funds emla anestesia comprar The LRA terrorized northern Uganda, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Central African Republic and what is now South Sudan in the 1990s and well into the last decade, initially forming during a bloody civil war for control of Uganda. Members believe Kony, one of the world’s most-wanted men, is a prophet. Its influence has dwindled in recent years, with Kony in hiding, or, some believe, dead. But even as the LRA’s power wanes, its legacy of a generation of thousands of mainly Ugandan children initiated into a twisted world of violence that includes rape and murder in the name of spirituality and nationalism.

  20. Armand says:

    I’m a partner in naproxeno con paracetamol suspension 2.5 g dosis para nios
    Chris Rogers spoke about the findings to Pamela Wilson, a cancer patient, Kate Williams, a clinical nurse specialist at Queen's Hospital, and Prof Kathy Pritchard-Jones, the chief medical officer at London Cancer.

  21. Orlando says:

    I want to make a withdrawal buy viagra eu Carlyle is hoping that industry players seeking to capturesynergies with Arinc and expand their business lines may bewilling to pay more than financial investors that willcapitalize on Arinc only as a standalone investment, the sourcessaid.

  22. Edwardo says:

    I went to viramune precio “For uber-fans of a particular band, getting the vinyl edition is a really important souvenir and mark of their commitment to the artist,” Steve Redmond, a spokesman for the Entertainment Retailers Association in the UK said.

  23. Garrett says:

    Have you read any good books lately? neem prah kje kupiti Anne McIntosh MP, the committee’s chairman, said: “The Committee agrees with the Government that the days when it was appropriate to have animals like lions or elephants travelling with circuses are long past.

  24. Osvaldo says:

    I’d like to pay this cheque in, please clomiphene citrate for sale uk Koh ruled against Apple and Samsung, saying the public’s interest in understanding the proceedings outweighed the companies’ rights to keep the information secret. However, the appeals court unanimously disagreed.

  25. Shane says:

    A company car harga teh ginseng korea Read up on he places where the majority of Muslims live — Southeast Asia — Malaysia and Indonesia. Because no one thrust a foreign body like Israel up their butts, they are proceed ing with normal development. But mix in Zionism and American/British efforts to control the Mideast, and you get the result seen.

  26. Lawerence says:

    Thanks for calling tamoxifen dose for pct
    Passengers also have reported that the plane was rollingfrom side to side during the approach, which in calm winds isanother indication of stalling, said Hans Weber, president ofTECOP International Inc and an aerospace consultant who has beenan adviser to the FAA.

  27. Doyle says:

    We went to university together what does clomid cost without insurance As for the $200 loan, well, it turns out that March 11 was a very busy day for my checking account. I deposited a small check for $17.75, I made two different ATM withdrawals, I automatically transferred $1,000 to an investment account, I paid my Amex bill, I made another automatic payment which goes out every week — and, on top of all that, a $250 check which I wrote on February 12 was finally cashed that day as well. All of which was enough to push me $112.56 into the red. Citibank then immediately took the opportunity to round that number up to the nearest $100 — because hey, why lend me $112.56 when you can lend me $200 instead — and automatically deposited that sum into my account, leaving me with an account balance, at the end of the day, of $87.44.

  28. Noah says:

    This is your employment contract precio viagra femenino en chile The pair said they haven’t finalized every wedding detail — they haven’t decided on their song and she’s still shopping for dresses. She says she has a date to go dress shopping with her mother, Lowe’s mother and her maid of honor.

  29. Scotty says:

    We went to university together pastilla ciprofloxacina But a few racy photos didn’t stop Miss New Jersey Amy Polumbo from competing for the national title. Polumbo revealed weeks after she won her crown – in summer 2007 – that she received a threatening letter accompanied by photos of herself cavorting with friends. The letter demanded she surrender her title, but pageant officials let the photos slide.

  30. Gerard says:

    Have you got a current driving licence? naproxen dosage for horses Detroit has enjoyed a strong link to hip-hop – though perhaps less high profile than the likes of New York and Los Angeles. Kid Rock and Insane Clown Posse were the first major artists to gain international recognition.

  31. Doyle says:

    How many would you like? bilan pre therapeutique methotrexate has “It’s been a significant year of growth and we aim to continue the upward momentum and value creation for our shareholders. As a result of this year’s success, we have been able to announce an increase in the dividend to £72m.”

  32. Mauro says:

    I’m not working at the moment amorex tabletten inhaltsstoffe Idzik’s decision to use the short-term IR designation on Sanchez further clouds the matter. It was a strategic mistake unless Idzik intends to play the veteran quarterback when he returns in eight weeks. (He does not).

  33. Jospeh says:

    Wonderfull great site bactrim allergy alternative We will continue to support and evolve both open source and commercial distributions of Revolution R across multiple operating systems.”

  34. Delmar says:

    It’s OK strike up pills ebay
    The elephants – Toka, 43, Thika, 33, and Iringa, 44 – will now share an 80-acre natural habitat with the three other African elephants already spending their retirement at the compound run by the Performing Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) in northern California, he said.

  35. Nicky says:

    Hold the line, please voltaren fiale senza ricetta The General Pharmaceutical Council said: “Although the cases are now closed, the information gathered as part of the investigation including the original complaint may be taken into account if we receive any further complaints about the pharmacy professional in the future.”

  36. Donny says:

    I’d like to cancel this standing order celexa for anxiety dose Ali Larijani, a former nuclear negotiator, declined to say whether Iran would bring any concessions to the October 15-16 talks in Geneva, but said: “It mostly concerns building confidence rather than a commercial give-and-take.

  37. Theodore says:

    I live here acebrophylline montelukast fexofenadine hydrochloride tablets uses The yen, whose vast liquidity makes it a relatively safeoption during times of uncertainty, also rallied against theeuro, which stumbled to around 132.90 yen, whilegaining against sterling and the higher-yieldingAustralian and New Zealand dollars .

  38. Floyd says:

    Could you tell me my balance, please? can rogaine be used to grow facial hair Rates on 30-year fixed rate mortgages have climbed about afull percentage point since early May on expectations the U.S.Federal Reserve may begin scaling back its bond-buying stimulusprogram as early as September.

  39. Carey says:

    Best Site good looking where to buy prostagenix in canada A colorful account of the life and art of the recently retired Drew Struzan, whose amazing poster work from the 1970s onward still delights cineastes and casual observers. The mild-mannered Struzan reveals his background and technique, but it’s his gorgeous, iconic hand-drawn images that stick: “Star Wars,” “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “Back to the Future,” “E.T.,” “The Muppet Movie” and many more.

  40. Wilton says:

    Sorry, I ran out of credit griseofulvin coupon A heat advisory is issued if the heat index – a measure of how hot it feels when relative humidity is factored in with air temperature – reaches 100 to 104 degrees Fahrenheit (38 to 40 degrees Centigrade), it said.

  41. Edmond says:

    Hold the line, please hi tech raspberry ketones
    If Bryant wants his sixth title badly enough, allowing him to match Jordan, he will have to swallow hard and decide he can live on $10 million per season. But there are no guarantees he’s open to that — just as no one knows what kind of player he’ll be returning from a serious injury and at his advanced age.

  42. Humberto says:

    Accountant supermarket manager usana palmetto plus And literary continuation is nothing new either. Perhaps the finest example – a novel arguably as good as, if not in some ways better than, the original – is Jean Rhys’s 1966 Wide Sargasso Sea. Inspired by Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre, this was the story of the first Mrs Rochester, set in the Caribbean; an extraordinarily powerful work of alienation, delirium and insanity.

  43. Darrell says:

    Why did you come to ? dosaggio compresse diclofenac Attendees, a mix of media and franchisees sipped mojitos made from McDonald’s Mango Pineapple Smoothie base by the chain’s dietitian, Jessica Foust, and used forks and knives to cut into chicken nuggets and fries.

  44. Andre says:

    I’m on work experience dhea kapsule cijena Many top European teams are wrapping up their barnstorming tours as they prepare for the start of a new season this month. Seven of the top clubs came stateside to compete with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the MLS in the inaugural International Champions Cup to add spice to usually meaningless exhibitions.

  45. Boyce says:

    Could you give me some smaller notes? para que sirve la enalapril maleato On Tuesday, Khaled el-Khateeb, head of the ministry’s emergency and intensive care department, said that beside the 72 killed in the Cairo clashes, eight were killed in clashes in the Mediterranean city of Alexandria also over the weekend.

  46. Reginald says:

    Why did you come to ? escitalopram-oxalate price Fath also said 42 others taken from the train by a school bus to the hospital were later found to be unharmed, despite early accounts by one official stating dozens of those were believed to have suffered lesser injuries.

  47. Clemente says:

    I’m on holiday ginseng price per pound The more collectors and curators I met along the way, the more I realised that there was a great hidden story to be told: a history of art in Britain, through the eyes of the people who bought it.

  48. Delmar says:

    The National Gallery lithium orotate and high blood pressure “The policy portfolio is the long distance runner,generating the bulk of returns; the active portfolio is ourattempt to do better than the policy portfolio throughskill-based strategies,” said GIC chief economist Leslie Teo.

  49. Leandro says:

    I do some voluntary work aabab tablets price in pakistan Samsung Engineering Co Ltd rose 2.3 percentdespite posting an unexpected third-quarter loss earlier in theday. The 746.7 billion won loss for the past quarter was seen asa result of restructuring within the company.

  50. Palmer says:

    What’s the interest rate on this account? will amoxicillin treat chlamydia and gonorrhea The catch is that, unlike in corporate bankruptcies, there is no mechanism under Chapter 9 to make the bankrupt entity pay certain creditors’ fees. And corporate bankruptcies are generally more lucrative for advisers because there is often more money to go around.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *