Global Warming, squirrels and steak knives……Entry for April 7, 2008

Global Warming, squirrels and steak knives……Entry for April 7, 2008
Here it is April 7 and some people still have Christmas decorations up on their house. It is cold and gray and windy today here in Jersey. A very hopeful sign in this era of Global warming. Take a count, my fellow Americans…..how many times do you see a large SUV, a Hummer, a 50 thousand ton piece of steel going down the road with ONE person in it? As President of the United States I will put an end to this Global Warming and lazy home owners who refuse to take down Christmas decorations. Our brother Glenn has arrived in New Jersey for approximatly two weeks. We hope to break bread with him soon. I miss many things lately. It is hard waking up alone sometimes. When the cold wind is pressing up against your window, it would be nice to have a womans hand grab you back under the warm blankets and say “Don’t go out there, stay under the covers with me” Sooner or later you have to face the day. Then you have to face the week. I miss my dog too. When I got him as a puppy he was a shaggy gray ball of fur. I really wanted to name him “Squirrel” but somehow he ended up “Scruffy” There is nothing more loyal then a dogs love. He was a great listener too. At one point in my life I had to give him to my in-laws because he was “Forbidden” where I was living. When my house was finally built and I went back for him, they didn’t want to give him back. So I let them keep him. He lived to be 17 human years old. One time I came over to visit him and they were all crying that he had died. When I went over to his “body” lying in his bed, it turned out he was only sleeping. We called him the Zombie Dog after that because he came back from the dead. Another thing I miss is being in the house with all my brothers and sisters. The absolute chaos sometimes. The Irish boys, the brawls we had. The fighting. The blood. The yelling and screaming. The crying. Our mother too drunk to break it up. Yeah, damn it I miss that. One time Gregory and I were rolling around on the kitchen floor with a steak knife. Good times! I used to love getting drunk in all the many bars of Carteret. There was a bar on every corner in that town….and a church across the street. I remember waking up in the emergency room with a nurse slapping my face to wake me up so that they could sew the bloody gash on my face. Damn, I miss those bar room brawls. The Dart League. Drinking whiskey at ten o clock in the morning and shooting “baseball” darts with Bikers from the Blue Dolphin. I miss the Mens Softball League too. God, we had an awfull friggin’ team but damn we knew how to drink after we lost. Barb and I feed the birds in her backyard. I have discovered that a squirrel has been jumping off the fence and onto the bird feeder, thus knocking it down and spilling all the food for his squirrle friends. That is one smart f’ing squirrel. And he pissed me off. So I was devising all these ways to stop “Rocky the flying Squirrel” from leaping onto the roof of our birdfeeder. Vasoline on the roof. OR even better yet, how about some razor blades so that when he jumps on the birdhouse roof he cuts off his legs and bleeds to death! I spent allot of time and energy hating this Flying squirrel. Until: one day I looked out the window and he had done it again. The birdfeeder was knocked over and the food was all over the ground. Except, I noticed that the birds and the squirrles were all eating together. A giant bird-squirrel Thanksgiving dinner. A harmonious meal in Nature. I felt bad that I wanted to kill that squirrel and besides, the more I looked at him, the more he reminded me of my old dog.