This is a tragic page in this book and like all books it has this one.It is a page of heartbreak, of loss of faith, deep personal pride plunged from highest levels into pits of darkness, of return of dark area in childhood and in summation of deep deep hurt. The most tragic event in my life has been fulfilled. The most dreadest fear realized in respect to human dignity. And without overemphasizing, I can honestly say that this experience has been the most disappointing if not the biggest disallusament of my entire life.
To protect those concerned, the circumstances, the innocent, no mention will remain anonymous in order to protect the people involved and circumstances from embarrassment should ever this writing fall into innocent hands and the episode being embarrassment to all concerned including myself.
The hurt has been unbearable at times and will undoubtedly remain so for one does not forget great disappointment and disallusioned by talking. The grief hangs heavy and for one of the rare times in life I approach tears, dazement and bewildered that it can’t be true. In essence for Gods plan many disappointments are in store for me in lives road but please Lord don’t ever let me reach the point of nervous collapse again in my life.
In solution, and for all of life has a solution if we so desire to look for it, let this be my cross to bear in life. We all have crosses to bear and honestly I feel I’ve had my equal share not to discriminate that God has at all been unjust. He has been more than generous in his gifts and blessings to me. But in truth, I have the most painful cross to carry for the rest of my life. Now it seems heavier than what it should be and there are many days when it will be heavier than it should be. Everytime I think about, I have cheated of lifes finest dignity, my personal pride has been dumped to low ebb in my lifetime. I pray now that I use the above writing and dear Lord that you render me the grace to withstand the weight and the hurt of the cross that you have given me to carry. Amen. (sic)
George Charles Hartman 1966