If somebody could help me, please…because right now, I am engulfed in sadness and strangely a horrible rage. Like I want to blame somebody and hurt them. Because I know it is way too early to even try to understand it. Maybe I shouldn’t even be here yet at this blog. It is still too raw, too unreal and way too early to even BELIEVE. But in some simple way maybe there is a space where we can come…..and remember her awesome spirit of life, her laughter, the sparkle in her blue eyes, her uncanny gift of never seeming to be ruffled by anything.
Maybe this can be a place to pray for her beautiful soul, to cry or to vent. Somebody please help me…..because I am at a total loss of words. I love you Brenda so so so so VERY much. I don’t understand it. I don’t think I ever will.
COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/23/2008 06:51:17
Pray……….I find myself doing that alot lately. I am numb and feel like part of me has been ripped away from me. Shock, I can not think sraight.
Why??????
I will miss you my sister, see you in heaven.
–gary
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/23/2008 10:36:02
For all the Hartman family,
I am deeply sorry for your loss and the pain you must be going through. Many of my fondest memories as a child were those times I spent at 121 Whitman Street, when all ten children lived under one roof. To hear that Brenda died so young is heartbreaking. The last time I saw her was probably in 1979. Brenda will always be fixed in my memory as a spunky 14 year old that somehow managed to deal with all the craziness her older brothers and their friends rained down around her. I hope you find the comfort in God and your fortunate luck to have each other to get you through this painful time.
I share your grief, and send my love.
Your friend,
Ken
–Ken Gitter
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/23/2008 18:04:07
George and family–I know George from meetings and i am really sorry for this great loss. YOur family will remain strong-stronger. I will keep you all in my prayers
–Bill
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/24/2008 12:15:40
Brenda listed her favorite song in “Twenty Questions” as “In the Arms of an Angel” (by Sarah McLachan) and she also wrote “very sad”
Here are the words to Brendas Favorite song:
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there’s always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there’s vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don’t make no difference
escaping one last time
it’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
–George
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/25/2008 11:14:28
George,
My prayers are with you and your family.
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/25/2008 19:48:58
Geo,
I’m here, you’re there and everyone else is in Ohio.
I thought you were gonna call. Call anyway, I miss you and your ramblings.
If we learn nothing else: Life is too short and there are no guarantees.
Love You Bye
–A
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 07/26/2008 08:42:29
Thank you Ken Gitter. I miss you my side street warrior. We have been friends since birth. Life has taken these crazy twists and pulls. I can get a list of almost 15-20 people who are dead from our hometown. Dead but really shouldn’t be. We are survivors. Casual drug use? LMFAO
This morning I woke up and walked through “main street usa” with my coffee. People and families smiling and shopping. Children laughing some crying. The hot sun on my face. In deep gratitude. I am alive. I am a good father. I will spend the evening in a glorious sunset on the beachand meditate. Today I am sober. My soul sings happily. Meanwhile they are putting my sisters “earth body” away in the ground the day after her birthday.
–gch
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 08/01/2008 10:59:56
If there is a heaven, (and i know there is) it will be a soft field of high grass. From the sidelines, i will witness, the reunion of Brenda and her little baby, Rebecca. She will know her mommy, like they never parted and they will embrace, like they lived their whole lives together. Yeah. this would be heaven.
–dusk
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 08/07/2008 07:08:22
to the hartmen clan, words cannot be typted about how i feel for the loss of your sister BRENDA. the pain that i feel for everyone is unimaginable, my eyes swelled with tears blur my vision. We all have our time to go without ever being ready. I will say a pray for her and all the Hartmans (past and present).Today 8-7-08 is bright and beautiful in Carteret,and I will drive by the home wear the HARTMAN family shared life together,their I will recall all the memories of growing up around this family. I will also call my 2 sisters and 1 brother and tell them how much I love them and what they mean to ME. GOD bless you Brenda,now you are free.
–vinnie Fran
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 08/14/2008 10:46:44
I came to Family Ties expecting to smile as I always do.
I can not express enough my sorrow and grief over this.
My Thoughts and Prayers are with you all.
In Love
BillB
–BillB
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR:
DATE: 08/14/2008 12:37:10
I was Brenda’s best friend from birth until 10 when we lived around the corner from her in Carteret. Even though I haven’t heard or seen her in over 30 years I can’t believe she’s gone. Please someone tell me how it happened.
I am so sorry for you loss and I will keep you in my prayers.
–Suzanne Brunner Neary