There will always be darkness……Entry for July 26, 2006

…in our lives. Stages of no way home…where am I….how did I get here…and sometimes it is a comfortable place…I’ve erased my past one hundred times but it is always part of me. In the New York Times yesterday a bunch of educated scientist led by Marcia Ferri of the Italian Agency for worldwide public health came to the conclusion that 12-step programs—do not work. The review covered only carefully controlled trials. What a bunch of bleeping bleep! I would like to see these so-called scientists determinations explained to people I know who would be DEAD-institutionalized-or sleeping on the street-if it wasn’t for 12 step. IRONICALLY—-Glenn did it——he took me to my first meeting many years ago. I knew right away that I belonged there—-although it took me a few years to get it. I should be dead. It was alot more than alochol for me. There were alot of layers to my onion….I’m still peeling the damn thing. We are complicated human beings….I woke up in a holding cell once….and spent 17 days in jail….it just wasn’t for me….I wasn’t a good jail person…I never wanted to go back….but if I should be dead….I should have spent almost HALF of my life in jail…..like our brother Glenn. READ his letter…if you can. I know it’s hard sometimes…to help people that it seems have had so many chances…life is just too damn short….he is always little Glenny….to me…..in his droopy underwear singing “Downtown…..downtown….” I have REVAMPED the ARTWORK PAGE—-check it out. There are also NEW PHOTOS in Our Childrens Children—Madison——and an awesome new photo of Nicole and Maddy on the Nicole page…..thanks Nicole for sending them to me……signing off