It seemed like every ordinary day in New Jersey. I was guiding my “car” (some phrases or words never change with time) past the empty telephone poles. I remembered the old days and laughed. I was so excited the first time I used a navigator in my car, “Wow, big technology !!”
Now twenty years after the last Beetle died in a plane crash, I press a button and the car not only navigates but steers and accelerates for me too.
Meanwhile, I’m talking to Wolfgang, my third grandchild on a chip embedded in my skull.
“Fucking Bastards!” I yell as I pull into the Sun Stop. Just because we had a week of rain they raise the price of solar energy 13 cents!
They finally abolished the “Can’t pump your own “gas” in New Jersey law” last year. So I get out of my Toyota Sun Spot 630 G and scan my fingerprint to clear my credit and begin charging my car.
There are solar panels fucking everywhere you look and I look at my reflection in the stainless steel solar pump. “Not bad for 74 years old.” While most people decided to get face lifts and hair transplants, I thought I’d grow old gracefully like any normal hippie would!
I gave my grandson, Wolfie and his girlfriend, tickets to last Sundays NY Giants vs London Fog home game and he drank too much and got into a brawl with a Brit during a late fourth quarter drive. Security grabbed him, his girlfriend and MY season ticket scan card and now I may lose the season tickets that my father and I have held since 1962. I will be begging for compassion again.
With Forty-five years sobriety, I have lost patience with my son Joshuas kids DRAMA. First Kirk wrecks the car, now this! “What the fuck?” Has anybody in this family learned anything about drinking and driving, let alone drinking???? First of all, how do you wreck a car that you don’t even really drive???
My car glides out of the Sun Stop and it quickly accelerates to 95 mph. I point my finger at the TV and start watching the news. It’s funny, I didn’t have to take a pee when I stopped, that artificial prostate fucking rocks. (Damn that expression is SO 2000 ! ) A voice in the car reminds me that I have an artery cleaning tomorrow and a teeth cleaning on Friday. Shit never ends!
I drive into a another spectacular sunset. A neondusk! Ever since that nuclear meltdown in the Middle East five years ago, the sunsets have been spectacular.











