The Hartman's
a really hot hot summer day in late 1960’s my mother asked me
what i wanted for my birthday dinner
hot hot oven and no aircondition ing
ok my favorites hamburger and frenchfries and here we were lined up
on the long table(hand crafted) Later:
Mr. Hartman arriving like an anthology of darkness, writing his lifes numbers in little black books
and sometimes he would write to God, skipping through Jesus and right to the
boss of the house always six feet taller then anyone else, he never
wore jeans and grew tomatoes and roses
outside
With the cuckoo clock on the rec room wall
scaring the simplicities of childhood right outta my ripped spaceman-pajamas. Modern
kitchen catching Thusday nights setting sun”Dad is gonna KILLYOU when he gets home
and yet”he never did murder.Just sits down to steak and mashed potatoes laced with speed
“Pretend we’re an unexploded bomb (she shivers and sighs”
These two that got married in the rain one soft June anniversary day in who knows when
nineteen hundred and who cares. They drank and gambled fought and loved.
After too many cigarettes and Rock and Ryes on the rocks the kitchen walls
collapsed and woke the ten children out of deep dark dreams
you are ATOP of a mountain of stairs The worn out gold shag carpet path
holding your siblings hands Down in the valley of kitchen the scream ing makes no
sense. Constant.
A freight train flying by at top speed endless your necks straining for the end somewhere the caboose please
God help the world is ending when your parents are drunk and fighting bells and lights flashing
finally from the top of the mountain fog in the sobbing, someone cries out PLEASE STOP
You are past boundaries of late night unheard of in your age.
I know my poetry can be hard to read, or understand. I have written hundreds of poems in my life. I have hidden most of them from everyone for fear of losing a level of manhood when I was younger. In my maturity I realize that poetry doesn’t make you feminine. Most of my favorite poets are indeed men.
This is without a doubt, one of my favorite poems that I have ever written. It is about waking up in the middle of the night to my mother and father having a very loud verbal fight. Now that I am an adult and have been married with children I can understand why something like this would happen. But as a child I never understood it but what I really remember was how I felt when I was a little boy on top of the stairs listening to them. There is perhaps nothing worse in a small childs life then Anger Uncertainty and possible Breakup of a family when the two that are in control and provide have become totally unglued.
I think that this happens and may be worse when a family experiences divorce.
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