I have become one of them…….Entry for August 1, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman

I will never forget the first day I started working in New York. I was petrified. When I went for my interview, I stood outside the building across the street and looked up at the window. Sure enough, there was my future boss looking at a transparency in the light of the window. I almost didn’t even go up there. I could get a job in New Jersey, I thought. New York is the king of large format graphics. These guys are gonna eat me up. I don’t know shit. This city is too crazy loud and dirty. Fear has been my closest friend my whole life. I compare it to going into the ocean to swim. BIG waves. COLD mysterious water. Jump in……or watch from the distance. It wasn’t easy. But I have worked my way ever so slowly to respect. They trust me now…most times with their biggest most complicated jobs. And now I know New York. The shortcuts, the best pizza, ….I know the street muscians, the homeless, the roughnecks, the tempo, I know the constant sound of sirens wailing, of firetrucks caught in traffic, cops on horses, blazing neon light shows, I have learned the complex subways, I have found treasures, gotten ripped off, was interviewd on the street for channel 4 news, have seen movies being made, undercover drug busts, and I got hit by an impatient taxi car. Once scared to walk through the endless mobs of people on the sidwalks…..I burst through them now. I know when the lights are gonna change green. I know how to curse….how to be confident…swagger through the concrete mazes like I own it. Get outta my way! Get off the phone! Pay a fuckin tention! No, I don’t have any change! Get a damn job! Come on….jump in! The water is freezing cold and the waves are monsters. Slowly…..I have become……………one of them.

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Jonny……………Entry for July 10, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman


when jonny was young
all this i saw and remembered in a glimpse
the sun bleached white curls
the FIRE in his eyes
shirtless and sunburned
cuts, bruises and bugbites
running across freshcut grass
rolling and tumbling in the glare of the sun
summer angels wipe his brow
he was
living life
loving life
all this
I saw and remembered
in a glimpse

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Entry for July 6, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman


Thank you!

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GCH DREAM#489……………… Entry for July 3, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman


I was sitting in a stainless steel waiting room filled with faceless people. Everyone was playing with their cell phones—the adult pacifiers of human tension. (im connected(ireally am) The only window was open with heavy flapping plastic curtains. Outside was endless dirt roads and orange trees. The sun was skipping behind white cotton clouds. Inter-continental planes flew dangerously low…almost like crop dusters. I was almost ready to climb out the window when…”Don’t go out there fool!”…a faceless bearded man said. I want to pick an orange. Stop the car Susan and pick an orange. “There are NO MORE oranges you dumb bastard. Haven’t you heard? All the bumble bees have gone away!” I climbed out there anyway and hung outside. My hands clinging to the window sill. My feet feeling for the ground. I closed my eyes tight and just let go. It seemed like I was falling forever when I realized that I was standing in a green field in front of my sons school. He was so tall he was able to look me straight in the eye(not many people can do that to me) I didn’t recognize his broad shoulders…..he looked so dapper in his suit. “Congratulations, son….you made it…..you are moving on.” I tried to put my arm around him but he wouldn’t let me…..maybe because of his friends. He turned and walked away….silently…..just walking away. And then I woke up.

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Dear Carol…………Entry for June 7, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman


I was supposed to call you Thursday. I was so busy. How is the weather? Is it starting to get hot? I’m glad you finally got some rain….you guys really need it. I heard you planted some oak trees at the front of the property. Keep them young things watered well!! Josh and Jonnie gonna come down to see you soon…how long has it been? They are gonna like you…I know it. They might be afraid of Earl….but then again so am I. What are you gonna watch on TV tonight Carol? I’ll talk to you soon….ok? I love you my sweet aunt Carol. I miss you.

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Made in the Shade………..Florida Report for May 18, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman

Spring in Florida is beautyful!! We really are getting into starting plants and flowers by seed. Our Backyard is jungle of flowers and plants…………we love it.
These were taken about a month and ahalf ago…………its getting hot
now,and a lot of these are dieing back and the seeds are being carefully
collected and put in small viles for next year. ………we will miss
their beauty.Our shade room is filled with plants and flowers………..Flowers that
like the hot steamy air……..hanging baskets hang like natures street lights…….each having there own beauty. It is so peaceful.
-Gary
When I was a kid, Mom told me that the name George-meant “farmer” and it has always been my desire to plant and grow. It is a never-ending learning process. I have become truly envious of Gary and Anns Shade room. Not only are they planting and growing quantity and quality but they are making money doing it! Check out the SHADE ROOM photos in PLACES/FLORIDA and you will be amazed at what grows in Florida. It is a much different world down there. The flowers seem to be from another planet! I also love Garys photography. When he gets close-ups of the plants….I often wonder if it is a flower….or one of his Grateful Dead tyedyes!!!

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Elizabeth Anime…….Entry for May 9, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman

In my journeys through Josh and Jonnies boyhood world, we go through many bookstores, collection shops, comic book stores and toyshops. They are involved in collecting….almost anything and everything. (I think it runs in the family through Dad and Greg). I have watched anime grow and grow to what is now: a mult-million dollar market! And the strange thing is….most of the people we see reading and purchasing it…..are not childre….but adults. Escaping into a graphic novel seems to be an easy way to get away from the realities of the daily hustle and bustle. Ann and Garys Elizabeth has a talent for this craft that can only grow and get more amazing. Check it out on the ARTWORK page in THINGS!

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Entry for May 4, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman


I have a great excuse. Family Ties has been a little rusty lately sorry. I have been ever so buried at work and am just now beginning to see some daylight.
I know it’s a little late but Mays “Photos that Make You Think” is finally here. I know you have been biting your nails waiting for this. (yawn)
FAMILY NEWS: Madison and Bella are getting big. Time flys. At this writing Gregs “secret” trip to Florida should be winding down. Maybe Gary will have some photos for us.
BONNIE and BRITT are flying into Jersey as this is being typed. There will definatly be photos coming soon in EVENTS….stay tuned.
OTHER FT STUFF: On Elizabeths birthday (May 6) I hope to post some new artwork of hers. It is VERY cool.
Stay tuned for the MIGHTY TEN’s…..GLENN!! Bonny was able to get his “Twenty Questions” and I have started to accumulate (although it has been difficult) photos for his page.
This will leave Greg as the last one out. Who would have thought that?
I sat down with Barb one night and was able to get a rough draft of our ROOTS. I am finding the time to get it together to view on the web. It is pretty interesting. During our research we called St Nicholas church in Jersey City and we MAY be able to get baptism records of Grandpa Hartmanns 11 siblings only which of two we know their names.
In the meantime I am leaning towards paying ancestoty.com’s modest fee to see what they have.
ALSO: Finally I hope to have the conclusion of THE ROCKET LAUNCH.
More WHISKAS DA CAT.
Other Ideas floating around…A monthly write in column…Ann Landers style. Any volunteers to write that?
I am also going to ask Glenn to draw some stuff for the site.
On the BIRTHDAY PAGE, I wanted to have another list of important dates….deaths, anniversarys and such.
ONCE AGAIN: any ideas feedback….for anything…would be appreciated.

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For gratitude has escaped me….Entry for May 3, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman

For gratitiude escapes me, once upon a time, I had the taste of a very sour marriage in my mouth and in my pores and seeping into my soul. She wasn’t a bad woman…it was just a wrong match. Come walk with me God into the depths of lonliness and poverty….even though I was working seventy hours a week. This was were I ended up: Divorce rehab. Where Belinda had just graduated. I fought it with all my my might. I cried like a river when I couldn’t even afford my little room three blocks from the beach. So why was I back with Barb and George? Things just weren’t going my way …so it seems. Where has everything gone….(i screamed one night in a dream) I woke up in my car in a dark parking lot. Listen: Sometimes you are picked up by the fingers of God and he gently (sometimes not so) into a place that you don’t want to go.
Thank you Barb and George….my sister and brother-in-law…..(no “in-laws” here! He is my brother.) Thank you…..because today I have a bed to come home to. A roof over my head. (where I can hear the rain fall on the top of the house) I have great food on the table. And when I get uncomfortable living in someone elses house….George always reminds me; “Joshua is my Godchild” And that is why I am here, Because my money goes to them. It is for them. More then the serenity of a loving home…..I have learned how to help others…how to give….for I have never seen so much charity and love in such a little house. Thank you Barb and George for teaching me how to take care of older people….thank you for giving me the dirt in the garden and the grass stains on my knees…thank you for giving me the carpet burns on my elbows when I wrestle my boys on your carpet. This isn’t where I wanted to be…but this is where I was placed. For when graitude escapes me…it is time to say thank you.

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My last Winter story….Entry for April 05, 2007

Posted on May 8, 2009 by George C. Hartman

I woke up this morning in a hazy fog. I had been sicker then I can ever remember….flu-like fever…non-eating…sweat-filled pillow…nightmares…yet I still needed to be at work. The dayshift guy just had an eye operation. Walking the ten blocks from Port Authority in the pouring rain without an umbrella…getting poked by unbrellas…people and reality seemed not real…a hazy-hallucanagetic quality. Colors and sounds distant. Cars honking. The subway thundering like an earthquake underneath…I had underdressed…I thought it was Spring…what happened to spring(I began shivering..i thought of my warm bed…or even my chair at work)–the bus ride seemed even longer today. It made me remember once when I was a kid waiting for a bus with a bunch of other kids. A brutally cold Winter morning. I noticed that I was the only kid there without gloves. When I finally got to school my hands were still so red and numb that I had a hard time gripping my pencil.
ONCE…..before you died, Mom……you came up to me in Barbaras backyard. I remember exactly the precise area….but it is funny….I have no idea what occasion we were all back there for….or who was even there. But you approached me….awkwardly….and you said, “I’m sorry, George.”
It was probably a year before you died….and you knew you were dying. I remember being speechless….sorry…..for what?….did you just step on my foot?….or are you apologizing for being a bad mother?…..I just said…..”It’s allright.”
The day the fever broke today April 5. I felt so much better. It was like coming out of a caccoon! All that rain had made trees start to bloom and tulips start to flower……but it was still so cold. The sky was blue…..then the sky was black. (Typical March weather here) Then it started to snow……and I watched it come down. Standing there looking up at the black and blue sky….trying to figure out which crazy cloud starting snowing on me. Everything was brand new to me. I was out of my caccoon. The world was a blooming flower. I am sorry I never cried at you funeral dear mother…..and I am sorry I haven’t accepted your apology……yet.

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